Tooth Fairy Sucks

Dear Tooth Fairy,

You fell down on your duties last night and should be ashamed of yourself! What were you doing last night that was so important that you couldn’t swing by to reward MiniMe for losing not just one tooth, but two teeth in one day? Beauty Sleep? All night rave party? Blind date?

There’s really no excuse. The one and only job you have to do each night is sneak into sleeping children’s rooms and replace their little baby teeth, safe and secure under their little pillows, with some spare change (or a dollar or two). MiniMe was counting on you and you let her down.

C'mon, the life of a fairy can’t be that difficult, especially in comparison to the life of us working moms. For instance, yesterday, I got up, made breakfast for MiniMe, myself and fed all the pets in our house. I walked her to the bus stop while taking the dogs for their morning walk. I then drove for an hour to meetings with two different clients. Lunch in the car on the way to another city with another client. Then rush back home in time to pick up MiniMe and attend the Open House at the elementary school. Home by 7 p.m. and time to feed everyone (including the pets again). Clean up kitchen, check homework, and finally at 9:30 p.m. I’m done. I collapse into an exhausted heap and fall asleep immediately, all the while counting on you to do your job as MiniMe sleeps soundly with two little teeth under her pillow.

This morning she comes into the kitchen for breakfast in tears, holding the little bag with her teeth, her face red, tears streaming down her little cheeks and says “Mommy, the tooth fair didn’t come!”

Lucky for you, Mommy had five dollars, a lot of hugs and a unique way of making everything right again in her little world.

Shame on you tooth fairy! Shame, Shame, Shame!