Thursday, May 28, 2009

Mom Overdose!

Here it is, 9 p.m. on a Thursday night, my hands are sticky from using the glue stick and I'm gonna be doing laundry till midnight. Why? Because I'm on MOM OVERDOSE! 

I'm packing for the trip MiniMe and I are taking with her girl scout troop this weekend to Savannah. Three days of girl scouting and sightseeing. I'm betting that before we even cross the state line, there will be some whining going on (and no, it won't be from me). Get a bunch of hormonal girls together, shove them and all their overstuffed luggage into minivans, drive for 4 hours while eating junk food, watching movies and playing Nintendo DS while our ears bleed from the latest Jonas Brothers tune. 

So tonight I'm washing clothes, including the girl scout uniform. I just got finished making (from scratch) invitations for MiniMe's birthday party next weekend. My hands are sticky from the glue and now I've got to sew on patches to the girl scout vest. 

A weekend full of girl scouts and what do I have to look forward to? Next weekend stuck in a beachside hotel with MiniMe and her 6 friends for an overnight birthday beach bash (I wonder if that hotel has a spa?!?). 

Please Send VALIUM!!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Soccer Mom of the Year

"You've got to talk me down off this soccer mom ledge!" 

It was the Voice of Reason calling and she didn't sound good. Seems her morning started with her daughter's ride to the soccer field bailing on her. Then they were running late. Next, her daughter couldn't find her soccer shoes. VOR hurriedly drops her daughter off with the coach and runs to the closest sporting goods store where she buys 3 pairs of soccer cleats in different sizes, not sure which size would fit. 

"Now I'm calling you as I'm racing down the highway trying to make it to the soccer field with the cleats in time or else the team will have to forfeit! I think I'm going over the edge!"

Soccer can do that. I know. Stepdaughter has been playing soccer since she was 4. Competitive soccer will make a normal family crazy. And will push a sane mom like my friend VOR inches away from Destination Nervous Breakdown.  

"I hope you got the right color soccer cleats." I said with an evil laugh.

"Very funny. If she even opens her mouth about the style of the soccer cleats, so help me god! I haven't even brushed my hair. I'm a mess."

"Don't worry, it's gonna rain on you anyway so no one will notice that your hair is not brushed."

VOR arrived in time. One of the pairs of soccer cleats actually fit. Her daughter wisely decided not to comment on the style or color choice. However, after a two hour rain delay (told you it would rain) the team lost. But VOR can now rightfully claim the Soccer Mom of the Year Award.

Monday, May 25, 2009

They do grow up

Stepson graduated and I feel like we ALL achieved a major family milestone this weekend. 

Friday, May 22, 2009

Gentlemen, start your Evinrudes!

Daytona International Speedway is partially underwater. But don't worry, the guys in marketing will be taking advantage of this and scheduling speedboat racing any day now.

For more views of the World Center of Racing (and waterskiing) click here


I've posted this picture before, but it was worth repeating. 2 ft of rain and counting . . . 

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Cup half full

I've decided to have a positive outlook today. Yea, I know, must be an overdose of medication or something. But, instead of jumping on my blog and griping about the rain and how flooded everything is here in Central Florida (we got 15 inches of rain between Monday and Wednesday), I was inspired by the sun peaking through the clouds today to write something positive.

Here goes.

5 Things I love about Florida (in no particular order)

The booming frog chorus that erupts in the evening especially after it rains. I hear it and picture that singing frog from the Looney Tunes cartoons and it makes me smile. 

TV Weathermen/women in Florida. This has to be one of the most amusing, sometimes tedious, then suddenly frantic jobs in the world. Sunny, chance of rain in the afternoon. Sunny, chance of rain in the afternoon. Sunny, chance of rain in the afternoon. HURRICANE!!!

Tourists. Love 'em or hate 'em, they're amusing. And they provide a boost to the economy. 

Wildlife. Today on my travels I came across the following: wild turkeys, a Redbird pair, pond turtles, a 3.5 foot carp, a red-tailed hawk, a monarch butterfly. 

Walking barefoot in rain puddles. Yes, I've gotten to do a lot of that this week. This was one of my favorite activities as a kid. Rolling up the pants legs and sloshing around the streets through all the puddles. And now that I'm an adult, I don't have hear my mom yelling at me "You girls get out of those puddles!! You're going to get ringworm!!"

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Graduation Day Feast

hot wings
Kraft macaroni & cheese
beanie weenies
chips & dip
mountain dew
root beer

This is the "wish list" that stepson gave me when I asked what he wanted us to serve at his high school graduation party on Saturday. Basically, it is meat, hot spice, cheese and caffeine. A teenage boy's dream buffet!

Saturday stepson graduates. He's excited. Only it's been raining non-stop for 2 days now and it's supposed to keep on raining through the weekend. We've got 6 plus inches of rain in the last two days, and some areas are begining to flood. We may all be swimming to and from graduation. Good thing we'll be hopped up on spicy meat and caffeine.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Warning! Travel Advisory

Wondertwin is organizing a girls getaway weekend in June to Fernandina Beach. You have been warned!

If you happen to live in Fernandina Beach, or if you were thinking of visiting there, just be aware there may be a whole posse of middle aged mommies running free-range through town. We shop. We sip. We surf. We get spa treatments. We laugh too loud and act otherwise inappropriate for our ages. 

If you're traveling to the posh resort area of Amelia Island, only you take a wrong turn, you'll find the historic and funky seaside town of Fernandina Beach. Others might pick the luxury of Amelia Plantation, but me and the girls are just suckers for a quaint downtown area listed on the National Register of historic places. Plus, Fernandina Beach is home to the oldest Florida bar continuously in operation - the Palace Saloon. Beloved and I spent a great night there years ago enjoying a band made up of guys over 50 who rock playing for local college kids. It was quite entertaining. 

While Cedar Key may be all about clams, Fernandina Beach is home of the modern day shrimping industry.  Its harbor was the place where shrimp fishermen tossed aside the castnets, and launched motor propelled shrimp trawlers. 

Fort Clinch is a must-see. It's just up AIA and was occupied during the Civil War by Union Forces. Fort Clinch is a very picturesque spot nestled in a gorgeous Florida state park. My favorite plumbers, Sci Fi channel's Ghost Hunters, even filmed an episode there. 

Shopping, shrimp, saloons and spectral soldiers. Sounds good to me!

This is Chuck

He may just become my fourth husband. (Just kidding Beloved). Chuck is in charge of renovating my bathroom and building a walk in closet in the bedroom. Now that you know that, I bet you find him irresistible, too. But you can't have him. He's mine for the next 2 weeks, sporadically at least.

On the very first day he and his wonderful crew from A.D. Davis Construction were here, he decided to fix my front door. Which sticks. Just took it upon himself to fix it. Then he said the words that no man has ever said to me before in my 40plus years "And if you have anything else around here that needs fixin' just let me know. I'll take care of it."

Suave! Beguiling! Irresistible he is!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Giraffe Medicine

What do these two animals have in common? They are both allergic to Florida. 

My veterinarian is determined to try and find a way to help dogs like my Scout who is allergic to the earth. Apparently, my wonderdog is not the only canine he's seeing absolutely ravaged by the allergy season right now. Even after more than 2 years of allergy shots, my dog is still miserable, scratching himself raw and losing hair. The neighbors must think I run secret cosmetic company animal testing experiments on him or something, he looks so pathetic. 

Did I mention my veterinarian is determined? Here's the latest. He's been doing some research and found another animal that has severe allergies, especially in the Florida climate, and doesn't seem to respond to most treatments is . . . .the giraffe. 

Of course. 

So Dr. Determined calls the good folks at Disney's Animal Kingdom. They tell him, yes, the giraffes have allergies. But, apparently, they've come up with some new drug treatment that actually seems to help. So Dr. Determined worked with the Disney vets to see if my dog Scout and a few other of his "patients" could benefit from this medication. Perhaps if the Disney drug helps giraffes, it might work for dogs, too. 

Giraffe medicine. Wonder how much that will cost me?

Room to grow

It's well known here at Casa NativeMom that I can't grow plants. Anything green dies instantly at my fingertips. I'm great at growing kids and dogs, but a fern or ficus, doomed. Which just seems unfair. Why me? Why can I not keep anything plant-like alive? It seems especially unfair that every plant I try to nurture dies, while guys like Orestes Olmo can not only grow plants, he can grow them underground in Florida. 

The Volusia County Sheriff's Office discovered more than $1 million worth of pot growing in caverns dug beneath his backyard in the "most elaborate marijuana growing operation ever seen in Volusia County." 

Last year, when my neighbors tried to put in a swimming pool, they had to pump water for a month. Yet this guy can build tunnels and grow rooms under his backyard shed? Amazing considering that professionals, with degrees and specialized equipment in South Florida struggled for years to build parking garages underground. 

Randy Smith, a spokesman for the South Florida Water Management District, explained that building an underground parking garage in Florida quickly becomes an underwater experience.

"It doesn't have to be very deep, a few feet, and you're going to hit water. It's right under our feet." That kind of construction, he said, requires water pumps, patience and construction workers in scuba gear.

Yet this criminal not only found away around the water table without an engineering degree, he also managed to grow 219 pot plants.

And I can't keep a cactus alive.