Wednesday, December 30, 2009

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth

In addition to all the clothes and techno gadgets I got for Christmas this year, I gave myself a gift that is long overdue - braces. That's right, I'm a 40-something year old woman sporting braces. Apparently adults are the fasting growing consumer segment in the orthodontic industry. Perhaps it is a mid-life thing? A way to return to my youth? I think next I'll try out for the cheerleading squad, develop a crush on a senior boy and lament the fact that I have NOTHING to wear this Friday night! You know, the usual teen angsty thing.

Beloved laughs at me whenever I rush off to brush my teeth after eating anything. I'm so paranoid I'll have food in my braces. Gross! My girlfriends all promised me that they would be true friends and be the first ones to tell me if I have spinach stuck in my braces . . .after they take a picture and post it online of course. Gotta love good friends.

My orthodontist (I can't believe I have my own orthodontist - how retro!) gave me a waterpik to use when she put the braces on. Only I'm so uncoordinated that when I try to use it, I soak down the entire bathroom. I now only use it in the shower to keep from having to break out the mop.

I think after a couple of weeks now I'm getting the hang of the braces thing. Only, there's one question I have not been able to solve. Since my braces are silver, can I still wear gold jewelry or is "mixing medals" a fashion faux pas?

No comments: