Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Fancy Lunch

My sister and I started something we call "Fancy Lunch" years ago as a way to entertain ourselves and visit with each other at the same time. We recently had Fancy Lunch in Heathrow to celebrate her birthday (29 again!) and brought the husbands along. Which meant we couldn't really play our usual game - Trophy Wife Hunt. 

Sissy lives in Winter Park. I live on the coast.  Every now and then, I'll meet her for an afternoon of shopping and Fancy Lunch in her neighborhood. We dine at a sidewalk cafe on ultrachic Park Avenue in downtown Winter Park, drink wine and see who can spot the most Trophy Wives. I'm pretty good at this, even with my poor eyesight.

How do you spot a Trophy Wife you ask? I'll share my hunting tips with you if you promise not to tell anyone else - Trophy Wives can be very elusive. (Well elusive at the kind of places I usually frequent like the grocery store and Walgreens.)

Signs of the Winter Park Trophy Wife:
Big hair
Even bigger designer purse (that cost more than my last car)
Lots of jewelry, especially a gigundous diamond ring
She's wearing Big Ass Sunglasses like she's trying to avoid papparazzi
High heel strappy sandals showing off a perfect pedicure
Clothing that is much to tight and sexy for her age
Carrying a miniature dog dressed in clothing

Sometimes, you can hear them coming. The belly growls because the typical Trophy Wife eats only organic lettuce and drinks designer water. 

Last time Sissy and I played this game, the gay couple sitting next to us asked if they could play along. We welcomed them to the game but warned them, we were experts and were likely to kick their asses! Actually, we had met our match. Gay men are unusually adept at spotting trophy wives. Who knew!

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