My friend Lliba called me yesterday afternoon and although she didn't know it at the time, her call brought me great relief. You see she was calling me because she'd had an especially bad morning at work, had gotten into a disagreement and as a result was escaping the office to "run some errands" just to clear her head and get away from the aggravation long enough to calm down. I TOTALLY felt her pain and what a relief to know that someone else was having a bad day, too!
What frustrated Lliba most was that the situation at work was so bad that she lost her cool a little bit. I get it. The same thing happened to me at the college on Monday when I was so angry that it took every ounce of emotional control I had not to turn use my "Mean Mommy" face on people that aren't even related to me.
In my book VENT stands for Vitally Essential Negativity Talk. That's when your friends really come in handy. I'm so glad she called to vent to me. We all need to vent once in a while. I know when I get mad or frustrated at someone or something, I just don't feel better until I let it out.
I think Lliba feels the same way I do. In a professional setting, or any setting really, when a woman loses her cool she's branded a "Bitch." Even if we have every right to be angry or upset. How F'd up is that? Knowing that showing "extreme displeasure" with someone will brand you a bitch is sometimes even more upsetting than the situation that made you angry in the first place.
Fortunately, as I've gotten older, I've learned to control it much better (at least I think so but you'd have to ask my family to be sure). I mean let's face it, the saying "you get more flies with honey than vinegar" is just too true. Getting all Pyscho on someone, even when they're standing in that shower acting all Janet Leigh and just begging for a slashin' (metaphorically speaking of course), it isn't going to help the situation to pull a female-version of Anthony Perkins. In fact, you're just going to come out looking even worse.
But I have to tell you, the folks at my college really deserved some Hitchcock action on Monday. While I didn't raise my voice or snap at anyone, I did get my point across and they knew I was pissed. That became increasingly evident as several people at the college got involved in solving the situation and sent me very carefully worded one-line e-mails to assure me the situation was corrected. I think they were a little scared (cue Psycho music). Good!
It's also good that I had someone to vent to on Monday. And even better than Lliba had someone to vent to yesterday who totally had her back (so she didn't have to stick the knife in someone).