Dear Scout the Stinky Corgi:
You thought you were very clever when you managed to scrub off your cone outside someplace where I cannot find it no matter how far and wide I search. See, the problem is, you need to wear that cone to let the sore on your back heal. My intentions are pure I assure you. I'm sorry to say your "hide the cone" plan did not work. I have found a replacement for it. A pink tutu.
And you thought the cone was embarrassing. Bet you wish you had it back now.