What does your mom do for a living?

My daughter volunteered me to be the "class mom." All you parents of school age kids out there may know this job by a different term, but essentially it is the mom in charge of all volunteer activities and needs for the classroom. I was shocked and surprised to learn that she had sacrificed . . . er . . .offered me up as the Class Mom.

You see, by sheer luck of address, we happen to be zoned for a public school that is literally crawling with moms whose full-time job is to be a school volunteer. Our rather affluent school population has an overabundance of stay-at-home moms and, bless their hearts, they take their "job" as school volunteer very seriously. I have to give them props. They could be playing tennis, getting pedicures, shopping and working out all day. But most of them spend all day long at the elementary school helping in the classroom, in the library, the cafeteria and organizing one fundraiser after another. Bless their hearts! Really.

My daughter is in third grade and by now I've learned to stay out of the way on "meet the teacher day" when the professional volunteer moms practically climb over each other to be first in line for the coveted "class mom" duty. So I never had to worry about this responsiblity fallling on my shoulders. That is until now. I asked my daughter why she volunteered me for the position of class mom and she said no one else had signed up. Seems that somehow the other third grade class has three "class moms" all grudgingly sharing the title while my daughter's third grade class has no one clamoring for the job. Including me.

So I was summoned by the teacher the following morning. "Your daughter says you would like to be class mom," she said with a phony smile. Oh yeah. I was onto this one. She knew I wasn't into the job. Heck, one look at me with my jeans, Bike Week t-shirt and hair stuck hurriedly in a pony tail and she knew she was dealing with a mom who had literally no experience and, quite frankly, no business taking on this responsibility. "Didn't you have anyone sign up yet? There always seem to be so many moms who want the job?" I asked trying to subtlely back away from the classroom door. The teacher stepped into my path outside (darn!) and said, "Well, it seems all the other moms this year have jobs and Isabel said you stay home so I thought you might be willing to help out." Houston we have a problem.

"Actually, I have a job, it's just that I work from my home office." I pause. I wait. Long silence ensues. She's still standing in my path with that smile on her face. "Well, um, I guess I could help with a few things."

I quizzed my daughter when she got home after school. "So, when you told your teacher I could help out in the classroom, did you happen to mention that I work?"

"I told her you stay home" she replied matter of factly.

"But honey, I work from home. I have a job. You know this, right?" Blank stare. "Honey, do you know what mommy does for work?"

Without missing a beat, "You type a lot on the computer?" And that is how I became one of the worst class moms this school has ever seen.