Florida Native Mom

What does your family look like?

2011-08-26T07:50:00.000-07:00

Stuck in the parent drop off loop this morning at MiniMe's school, we're behind one of those cars that has their family represented in stickers across the back window.

I say to MiniMe, "You'll never see stickers like that on my car. I guess I'm just not that kind of mom."

MiniMe says "Yea but if you had stickers that showed our family they wouldn't look like that. The two boys would be fighting, the dog would be scratching his fleas, you'd have a glass of wine in your hand and Dad wouldn't be in the line-up because he'd be out riding his motorcycle."

Which gave me the giggles!

Leave Me Alone?

2011-08-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

I was riding my bike yesterday morning when I spied a man playing tennis . . . alone. It struck me as funny that he'd be out hitting tennis balls on the court by himself because tennis usually requires at least 2 players. Now I know he was probably just practicing his serve, but you can see how this would strike me as unusual. Then again, I was out exercising alone myself - but I was on a bike, which doesn't require a partner.

This reminded me of something my friend's son recently told her. He said "Mom, I'm glad I'm an only child," which made her happy since there would be no other buns springing from her oven. MiniMe was an only child until she gained step brothers and a step sister. She loved it when the "big kids," as she called them, joined the family because I think she was a little lonely.

The reason I think this is because she used to play hide and seek with her guinea pig.

When she was about 2 years old, I got her a guinea pig. She and Sugar were inseparable. She would go out to the front yard and "hide" the pig behind a tree or in her wagon. Then she'd come back to the front porch to "count" (which at that age she only knew her numbers up to about 5) and then go searching for the pig.

The good thing about this game of hide and seek was that you could put that pig someplace and come back an hour later and she'd still be there. She never moved. So I wasn't worried that Sugar would somehow escape during this game. I think secretly MiniMe hoped the pig would run and find some other hiding spot because that would have been more fun. But that was a dependably unmoving pig.

I'm Not That Kind of Mom

2011-07-12T14:38:00.000-07:00

I write a monthly column for a local parent magazine. However, what I write is more like an Erma Bombeck column because I offer no real advice or useful information, just observation and satire (kind of like this blog only much more sanitized). I leave it up to the other writers who are parents to provide parenting tips and advice.

So my deadline is this week for the Back to School issue. I'm stumped. I've done Back to School columns several times. So I go to Facebook and ask my "friends" to give me some ideas on what I should cover in my Back to School themed column.

It was hilarious! The suggestions I got were all well-meaning and actually good suggestions. But I couldn't help thinking "Do these people know me?!?"

Since my loyal readers of the blog know that I'm a slacker mom who has a free-range parenting style, I thought I'd share some of the suggestions I got and what I thought about each.

Suggestion No. 1: Write about non-traditional school options like homeschooling
Me: Homeschooling? My goal is to get my daughter OUT of the house. I happily pay my school taxes and then some for the saving grace that is someone else dealing with her 5 days a week.

Suggestion No. 2: Ways you can help your child's teacher like buying supplies or helping out in the classroom.
Me: I buy plenty of supplies for the classroom every year and don't mind doing so. But I've learned to stick to the supply list ever since those little child-sized straight jackets I sent were not well received. As far as helping out in the classroom, see my answer to question number 1.

Suggestion No. 3: Recommend that parents let their children ride their bikes to school this year. The kids will get exercise and the parents can save money on gas.
Me: Now, this is an idea I can embrace! I'm an old fashion parent in that I DON'T think my child will get snatched if she plays in the front yard without me watching her every move. However, I can only imagine how much hate mail the magazine would receive if one of their writers actually suggested that parents not only let their child walk to a bus stop, but actually (GASP!!) ride their bike to school (I mean, that's actually beyond the cul de sac!). The editor just doesn't deserve to attract the ire of the helicopter moms.

By the way that last suggestion came from a friend who has no children.

I'll let you know what I come up with.

The Notebook

2011-07-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

"I found the notebook Amy wanted," my favorite middle stepson tells me yesterday, very proud of himself. Amy is a girl who is a "friend," who everyone else knows is just in love with favorite middle stepson. He chooses to ignore this fact.

Why does Amy need a notebook, I ask.

"Today's her birthday so I got her the notebook. I found it at Wal-Mart."

Is this some special notebook?

"No, the MOVIE. She wanted that movie The Notebook, so I got it for her birthday. We're having a birthday party for her tonight."

Have you ever watched The Notebook, I inquire.

"No, but it's probably some sort of chick flick, right?"

You're not going to like it. There are no zombies and no aliens.

"Great," he says with a sigh. "Does anyone get punched?"

No, no one gets punched.

One Legged Chicken - The Other White Meat

2011-07-05T07:07:00.000-07:00

Beloved, MiniMe and I went to my mom & dad's place in St. Augustine on Sunday for a cookout. For all of you who don't know, and for those of you who do - a reminder, I'm a vegetarian and have been for about 4 years. However, I NEVER ask anyone to cook anything special for me, nor do I ever say anything if we're at someone's home for dinner and it's a Meat-A-Saurus meal.

Back to my story.

We get there and my mom says "We're having ribs and I bought chicken for you since you don't eat meat."

Here we go again. After 4 years, my mom still thinks that if she serves me chicken or turkey, that's vegetarian.

MiniMe looks at me with an expression that conveys "Am I missing something here?" Go ahead, I tell her, you explain it.

"Mimi, chicken is meat, mom doesn't eat meat."

"You don't eat chicken? Well I thought you ate chicken?"

I say to MiniMe "Give her the 2 and 4 leg explanation."

MiniMe recites my mantra "Mom doesn't eat anything with 2 or 4 legs. Chickens have 2 legs," and smiles because she's getting to "correct" an adult.

"Well!" my mom huffs, "This was a one-legged chicken so I guess you can eat it!"

Must be the Heat

2011-06-27T15:01:00.000-07:00

Saw two things today that I thought were a little odd. I would have gotten photos to share, but I was driving. I'm already a terrible photographer, so it wasn't worth risking a traffic accident.

Strange Item No. 1 "You Go Boy!"
Man, age 30ish, riding a bicycle while simultaneously eating one of the biggest hamburgers I've ever seen. Do you think he was reasoning that as long as he was pedaling, eating a greasy 2,000 plus calorie burger was good for him?

Strange Item No. 2 "You Should Be Ashamed!"
A man and his kids in their bedraggled van at the corner of a busy intersection. On a large piece of cardboard taped to the side of his van was written "Rotie Puppies." He was standing next to it holding one of the puppies like he was hawking fake watches on the streets of New York. (Now this guy I would have run over while taking a photo, but I didn't want to hurt the innocent puppy or the children).

The Good, The Bad and the IRS

2011-06-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

I run my own business and yesterday I got a certified letter from the IRS saying I had an outstanding balance on my tax payment from last year. I probably don't have to tell you that the letter was a little threatening in its tone.

I've decided that I'll consider the rest of this story of my interaction with the IRS to be hilarious rather than painful. So, here goes.

I knew I had paid this. I knew the check number and date it had been sent. I even checked and yes, the check had been cashed. Even so, I thought I'd better call and be sure they had corrected the error.

I call the 800 number. I spend 3 minutes punching all my info into the automated phone system. I wait patiently through 15 minutes on hold. When the IRS agent finally answered (No 'hello, this is Marcy, how I can help you today?') she had an attitude. I'll spare you the details, but it ended up with her "terminating" my call because at one point I said "Well, damn, I didn't know that was what you were asking me for!" I got cut off for using the word "Damn". If I'd known I would be cut off, I wouldn't have wasted my offensive language with 'damn', there are much better words.

So off I go to my local IRS office. This is where it gets really bizarre!

As soon as I walk in the door, the security guard, who is sitting chatting with one of the customers, says to me in a rapid fire monotone "any weapons, cell phone, cameras or recording devices?" Um, a cell phone, I answer. "You've got to turn it off, no cell phones allowed." Um, ok, and hello to you, too.

I take a number from the weird machine that makes you choose a "reason" why you're there before it spits out your number. Now, there are only 2 other people in the waiting room besides me. My number, 502. I look at the "now serving" light and it says 957. WTF? I immediately think I must be in that waiting room from Beetlejuice or something.

The next number is called and one of the two women goes into the cubicle not 12 ft from where I'm sitting. The TV in the waiting room is on the Spike TV channel. Just about every surface of the walls are covered by posters and notices that say "No Weapons" "No Cell Phones" "No Cameras or Recording Devices" in multiple languages (even Japanese, I swear!).

The woman now leaves the cubicle and it turns out the other lady is with her, so I'm next! But before she leaves, the security guard returns her box cutter. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!

Now I'm alone with the security guard and the one lone IRS agent in the cubicle 12 feet away. Ding, the "next served" number changes to 502 (that's me!). I decide it is completely ridiculous to post my number on the electronic sign when I'm the ONLY person in the waiting room, and he can clearly see this. So I decide to mess with him. (I know, this is what got me terminated the last time).

I sit there. "Number 502" he calls out. I look at my number slip, I look at the sign announcing my number is next, I look back at my number slip. I sit there. "Number 502! 502, is that You?!? You're next, wake up!"

Tee-hee-hee . . . .

Trying to be friendly, I ask if he's ever seen the movie Beetlejuice. "Yes" he says. "Your waiting room reminds of the waiting room in Beetlejuice," I say with a laugh. He just stares at me. So I hand over my ID and paperwork. It takes him exactly 45 seconds to pull up my record and confirm that the error has been corrected. Then he says "Oh, Beetlejuice! I know what you're talking about now" and kinda chuckles.

This one is a real Einstein, I think but do not say out loud. On my way out through the empty waiting room, I pass the seated security guard who is now playing on his cell phone.

"No Cell Phones!" I bark and am pleased to see I startle him a little.

Tee, hee, hee . . .

Bloggers in Demand

2011-06-13T07:05:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about being a part of the blogger community is getting to see a place from the blogger's local perspective. That's why I follow so many Florida bloggers. There's nothing better than visiting a place and knowing all the "secrets" from the locals about what to do, where to eat, where to stay, etc.

As a blogger, I've been tapped a few times by online and traditional publications looking for a writer with local knowledge. My most recent piece on the outdoor offerings in Daytona Beach came out this week in the June issue of the Visit Florida e-newsletter. See here.

If you're doing some guest blogging or freelance writing, I'd love to read my blogging friends' work. Please send me a link and I'd be interested in sharing them with my followers.

Happy Monday!

Your Baby Can't Read

2011-06-07T17:19:00.000-07:00

Anyone else other than me tired of those "Your Baby Can Read" commercials? Not only do they play constantly on every radio station I listen to, they're ridiculous. Who's buying this product? Is it the same parents who made the Baby Einstein folks rich beyond measure? I think even the Baby Einstein consumers didn't actually believe their babies would start playing Mozart or solving equations because they got parked in front of a video.

I'm here to proclaim that NO, YOUR BABY CANNOT READ!!!!

In addition to this concept being completely asinine, why would you want your baby to read? Is this a sinister component of the Florida FCAT? Are the No Child Left Behind people a sponsor of this ridiculous product?

Every time I hear one of these commercials I feel like screaming "IF YOU READ TO YOUR BABY AND TODDLER, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THEIR COGNITIVE ABILITIES!!!"

Whatever happened to reading to your child? Now there's a video and online game for everything. Heck, there's probably even a Your Baby Can Read App. (Gag).

I may not be a perfect mom but I know that spending quality time reading to your child can only help. So why would you spend money on a product that lets someone else do it for you?

NO, your baby cannot read. But YOU can read to your baby!

Official Sign of Summer

2011-06-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

It is officially summer. I know this because today my dog Scout chewed all the beads off my new flip flops. Actually, he chewed the beads off only one shoe in the pair.

I look forward to getting a new pair of flip flops each summer. Scout looks forward to "breaking them in" for me. It's a good thing I don't spend much money on my flip flops. The frustrating thing is this smelly dog never chews anyone else's flip flops. Only mine!

I thought I was safe because he usually is attracted to sparkly things. These were just multi-colored beads, no sparkles. I guess he decided he'd chew up anything in a pinch - sparkles or not.

I've tried to make sure I keep my shoes in my closet and not just laying around the house. Didn't help. He just slunk into my closet for a flip flop snack.

Pictured: Bad Dog Scout on the left with Good Dog Radley on the right. No matter how hard Radley has tried to be a good influence, Scout is incorrigible.

Big events - Only in Florida

2011-06-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

June 1 has been replete with events that for the most part only all of us in Florida experience.

Today marks the first day of Hurricane Season. Do you think it is some sort of sign that today was also the first day my home - the greater Daytona Beach area - has gotten any rain in weeks?

The space shuttle landed. Did the double sonic boom wake you around 2:30 a.m.?

We've got approximately 250 wildfires burning across the state as of today. Have I mentioned how much we love our firefighters in the Sunshine State?

By my calendar, the first official day of summer is June 21. But to me, June 1 is the official Florida day of summer.

Summer Reading

2011-05-31T12:31:00.000-07:00

School is out for MiniMe but my nagging her to read a few books this summer has just begun. She picked out a book this weekend, which led to an interesting exchange.

"Mom, I found a book I want to read. It's called Survival of the Fittest and it's about a bunch of girls who are competing in the Miss Teen pageant who have to survive when their plane crashes on an island."

Me: Hmm, I guess that's the prissy version of Lord of the Flies.

"What? I don't know that one."

This got me thinking about the books on the reading list for young adults these days compared to the reading list I had in middle/high school.

So, Lord of the Flies. Should it be on reading lists for contemporary youth? Is it still relevant or are there more modern books that would be just as relevant and maybe more interesting to our young adults.

I loved some of the books I was assigned to read: The Great Gatsby, The Crucible, Brave New World.

What if students were assigned to read The Book Thief by Markus Zusak instead of The Crucible? The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger instead of The Great Gatsby. How about The Road by Cormac McCarthy instead of Brave New World.

What books were you assigned to read as a young adult?

Florida Accommodations Getting More Economical for Families

2011-05-23T08:33:00.000-07:00

All indications are that even with the economy still stuck in the dumps, people are planning a vacation this summer. Only families are looking for affordable options, which means a lot more are choosing "staycations" (don't know who came up with this term but I love it!).

This weekend, the folks at Caribe Cove and Bahama Bay Resort in Davenport hosted a group of travel bloggers, and your own Florida Native Mom got a coveted invite. The tourism industry, like many others, is starting to recognize the power of social media in promoting their accommodations (which is great news for all of us who have been toiling away in the shadows of the blogosphere for years).

Now I would not write about my experience if it wasn't a positive one, even if I received a complimentary stay. So here's why I'm sharing this with you. Both resorts are a great choice for families or groups of friends traveling together looking for a place to stay for several nights (not just a weekend). That's because their 2 and 3 bedroom suites range from $92 to $121 per night. A suite with 2 or 3 full size bedrooms, a full-size kitchen, 2 baths and plenty of room at 1,400 to 1,600 square feet. Split that nightly rate between 2 groups and you can't get a better price anywhere.

I was surprised at how big the suites were. And very nice, clean. We went to Disney's Hollywood Studios for Star Wars Weekend while we were there and I timed the drive because I kinda felt like we were in the middle of nowhere in Davenport. Only 15 minutes to the Disney gate.

It's also only 20 minutes away from the outlet malls - great for a girlfriends weekend!

Now I know what you may be thinking - and NO we did not have to take a timeshare tour. This is not a timeshare. My only suggestion is to call ahead and confirm your reservation.

Summer Visitors?

2011-05-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

If you’re like our big extended family, we often have visitors during the summer who take advantage of the fact we live in Florida to spend a week at the beach. A few years ago, I started making arrangements for our visiting families to stay at one of the local hotels on the beach since there is often “no room at the Florida Native Mom” inn for extended periods.

The first year we suggested our families stay in one of the many family-friendly resorts in Daytona Beach was a little rough. I had to assure them that I loved each and every one of them and thought it would be a “great idea” for them to actually spend their summer break on the beach instead of at my home in the mainland suburb. Now I couldn’t lure them back to my house if I tried.

My brother and sister-in-law enjoy staying at one of the beachside hotels because so many offer kid-suites, rooms with efficiency kitchens, water-park-like pool decks and most of all, they’re economical. They have two young boys and spend the morning on the beach then visit us to swim with our kids in the pool and have a cookout in the afternoons. Everyone is happy!

I encourage you to follow my lead on this. While you may feel a little bad about sending your relatives to stay at a local resort instead of sleeping on your couch for a week, consider these facts from my area in Daytona Beach:

Last year we had 7 million visitors to the Daytona Beach area that spent an estimated $3 billion in our restaurants, grocery stores, retail stores and gas stations. The tourism industry is one of the biggest and most important industries to our local economy.

By setting your relatives up in local accommodations, you’re pumping up our economy and potentially salvaging family relationships!

Moon Pies!!

2011-05-10T13:46:00.000-07:00

Florida has been in the news a lot lately because of all the attention being paid to the last few shuttle launches. All this great NASA stuff got me thinking. About Moon Pies.

Did you know that Moon Pies now come in a variety of flavors? The newest flavor is chocolate mint. It's like a Southern version of the Girl Scout Thin Mint cookie.

I'm a longtime fan of Moon Pies (I mean who isn't a fan of the original Moon Pie?!?) I'm glad to see that a special treat from my childhood is still around, along with Tang, Juicy Fruit chewing gum and that honey that comes in a plastic bear. (Honey served in a plastic bear is always better than other packaged honeys).

Anyone else like to have a Moon Pie for breakfast or is it just me? At one time I worked in the NASCAR industry. One early morning at a track I went in search of breakfast. The press rooms were always full of free food since many of the sponsors freely distributed "samples" to the media. Cheerios. Skittles. BC Powder. So on that morning, I culled together my breakfast from the "freebies" in the media center.

A Banana flavored Moon Pie, a Slim Jim and a Pepsi. A complete Southern Racin' style breakfast.

Wanted: Mom Material

2011-04-01T12:06:00.000-07:00

I write a monthly column that runs in a local parenting magazine. (Shhhh, don't laugh, I've got them convinced I'm a good mom). My May column is due next week and I decided to write about my mom. In particular about her personality and character. And she's a character all right.

I called my sister to get her input. She shared a story I'd never heard about Mom (see what I missed by going off to college?!?). My mom is a beautician. She has her own salon. This never benefited me because I have very little hair. In fact when I was growing up, my dad used to tell me "You have fine hair. The kind you find on rat's ass." But I digress.

My sister has a lot of hair (that's her in the photo). Thick, wavy, brunette. She was the very definition of "Big Hair" in the 80s. Sissy was also a basketball player. Her senior year, her team made it to the state playoffs. The local news got a hold of the story of this girls' basketball team whose starting line-up had been playing together since 8th grade. They were also all high achieving National Honor Society members. The media wanted an interview.

My sister finds out at school that day she and her teammates are going to be interviewed for broadcast TV news. She immediately calls my mom in tears.

"Mom, the TV news is coming to interview us after school and I've just finished PE and my hair is a mess! I can't be on TV like this!"

So what does mom do? Of course she runs down to the school, checks my sister out and takes her home to style her hair. Once the hot rollers are out and the hairspray is in place, Mom takes her back to school in time for her interview.

Cause that's just the kind of mom she is.

The View from My Office

2011-04-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

Just one more reason to love life in Florida. It may have been rain and thunder all day yesterday, but today is beautiful. Temps in the 70s, sunshine, blue sky. Taking advantage and spending my day working (writing, grading papers) on my back porch.

TGIF - Thank God I'm in Florida!

Following Snakes . . .On Twitter

2011-03-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

I just started following the missing Bronx Zoo cobra on Twitter ( @BronxZoosCobra ). This "snake" has more than 140,000 followers and has only been on Twitter since Monday. Which got me thinking. Perhaps to promote tourism in the Sunshine State, we could convince Disney's Animal Kingdom to "lose" a monkey, who could then start Tweeting his adventures. This would be much more believable than a snake Tweeting as far as I'm concerned. A monkey has "fingers" which would allow him to Tweet easily from his iPhone. A snake only has his tongue and tail.

Should we start a quiet campaign to get Animal Kingdom on board with this?

Florida Roadside Retail

2011-03-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

Traveling the back roads through small towns in Florida provides shop-a-holics with a whole new category of retail to enjoy. I call it Roadside Retail.

Whether I'm traveling on long trips or short trips, I find it greatly amusing to keep track of all the different "items" you'll find advertised for sale along the roadway. You might expect to see signs offering the traditional boiled p-nuts, fruit and produce, but here are some of the other great deals I've personally cataloged in recent years.

Goats, piglets, pot belly pigs, and emu.
Eggs
Jerky - including alligator jerky
Hammocks, hand carved wood furniture and porch swings
Farm equipment, boats, RVs, cars and motorcycles
Worms and other bait for fishing
Silk floral arrangements
Firewood and mulch
Sculpture made from driftwood
Hot sauce and homemade relish
Fried fish and bbq
Pre-made Easter baskets
A variety of large stuffed animals
Go-karts
Above ground pools
Handmade turquoise jewelry

Surely you've purchased a few unique items in your Florida travels from independent entrepreneurs. What did you buy?

I'll get you my pretty!!!

2011-03-22T14:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Scout the Stinky Corgi:

You thought you were very clever when you managed to scrub off your cone outside someplace where I cannot find it no matter how far and wide I search. See, the problem is, you need to wear that cone to let the sore on your back heal. My intentions are pure I assure you. I'm sorry to say your "hide the cone" plan did not work. I have found a replacement for it. A pink tutu.

And you thought the cone was embarrassing. Bet you wish you had it back now.

Sunday at Marineland

2011-03-21T07:49:00.000-07:00

I spent a gorgeous Sunday afternoon at Marineland. Did you know that Marineland (now called Marineland Dolphin Adventure) is the oldest marine attraction in the U.S.? In addition, one of the park's residents - Nellie - is the oldest dolphin in the world born in human care. She celebrated her 58th birthday in February.

I spent about 2 hours at the park and really enjoyed talking to the volunteers. There were 3 volunteers "on deck" while I was there. Two retirees and a college student. Their job was to answer questions about the dolphins and work with the visitors who were there for one of the "dolphin experiences," including a swim with the dolphins program and a touch and feed program. These folks loved their "job" and they agreed with me that Marineland is one of Florida's best kept secrets. And that's a shame.

I have a soft spot in my heart for Marineland since I visited so many times as a kid. It was the only "theme park" for miles back then, and even if it hadn't been, it would have been my favorite. This Florida girl was raised right - brought up to love and appreciate the dolphin (and seaturtle, too).

What makes Marineland a good alternative to the big Sea World park, in my opinion, is that it is an intimate, quiet park right on the ocean. You can stand on the deck under the shade of an umbrella and watch the dolphins swim, then turn around and watch the waves wash onto the beach. You can't do that at Seaworld. And if you want a chance to see (and touch) a dolphin up close, this is the place. Their classes are very small - no more than 12 people - and you get a lot of one-on-one time with the trainers and the 12 dolphins in residence. Plus, when it comes to education, conservation and research, Marineland leads the way. They've been the home of the University of Florida Whitney Lab for Marine Bioscience since the mid 1970s and were recently purchased by the Georgia Aquarium, which should ensure their viability for decades.

I'm hoping you will help me share this secret. Marineland, located on AIA between St. Augustine and Flagler Beach, is open 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. each day. You can register for several of the different dolphin encounter programs, however, you can also just visit and see the dolphins and enjoy the afternoon (like I did) for only $8.50 adults and $4 children.

Visit them online at Marineland.net.

The Summer Camp Shuffle

2011-03-16T07:28:00.000-07:00

Tennis. Ballet. Art. Swimming. Photography. Horseback riding. We’ve tried them all.

Since it will soon be time to pick a summer camp for the kids, I thought I’d share - or commiserate, depending on how you look at it - my experiences with summer camp for MiniMe.

I was thrilled to discover that MiniMe was great at tennis. But her enthusiasm for the sport was in opposition to her ability. She made a precious ballerina but outgrew the tutus after age 6. While she’s very creative, art classes just didn’t seem to resonate. She’s been swimming like a fish since she was 2 (big shout out to the YMCA’s swim instructors), but only enjoyed "playing" in the pool and couldn’t stay in her lane. Photography was a successful endeavor, if you consider finding 42 pictures of the dog on your digital camera a triumph. Horseback riding? I won’t even go there.

All of these were excellent summer camp programs; it’s just that no matter how hard I’ve tried, I’ve been unsuccessful in finding an activity that MiniMe will stick with. Until this year.

Turns out I have a "Drama Queen" (as if I didn’t already know that). MiniMe participated in the Children’s Musical Theatre summer camp last summer and finally found her passion. She’s continued to take part in this outstanding program and I’ve been proud of her effort and dedication. It’s rewarding to see her experience the enjoyment that comes from working hard to perform on stage.

It’s always difficult if not frustrating to find just the right activity for your child. Or maybe that’s just me. How about all of you? What was your kid’s favorite summer camp?

Attracted to the Florida Roadside

2011-03-06T10:24:00.000-08:00

Quirky roadside attractions are what the Florida tourism industry was built on. Even though that industry has become dominated by a mouse, there are still plenty of Old Florida attractions to see throughout the state. On a recent ride through Crescent City, I came across one of my favorite Florida drive-thrus. The "honor system citrus stand."

Not only is the produce fresh and locally grown, the fruit stand is self-serve. I can't be sure, but I'm thinking that you wouldn't find a self-serve, honor-system drive thru in New York City. But, thankfully, you can still find a few of these locally-owned roadside businesses throughout the Sunshine State. One of my other favorites is the Biggers Apiaries honey stand near San Mateo on SR 100, which has been operating on the honor system for over 60 years in that location.

There under the shade of a giant old oak, you can pull off the road and purchase orange blossom honey, wildflower honey or tupelo honey. Drop your money in the box and continue on your way.

Another curious off-the-beaten-path sight worth seeing is the Indian River Fruit Stand at the stoplight intersection of SR17 and SR40 in Barberville. You may know it for its 8ft tall roosters.

This Barberville market has been attracting customers locally, nationally and internationally looking for the unusual for more than 20 years. There are 451 different items, totaling 1,000 pieces to choose from on the 4-acre property shaded by towering moss-covered oaks. Looking for a sculpted metal flying pig? How about a 24 ft giraffe statue? Oversized hand-carved teak furniture from Indonesia on your list? The startling sculptures large and small include farm animals, dinosaurs, jungle creatures and the fantastic. Oh, and you can also pick up locally produced honey and citrus.

The current owners Carlos Pendola and Sandra Tedder say their most expensive item is a 12 ft figure of Atlas priced at $5,500. The “giant roosters” go for $2,300. But there’s something at every price point. The art and fruit business accepts cash, credit or check and can even arrange shipment and delivery.

Ok, it's not operating on the honor system, but can you honestly say you can purchase a giant chicken in your hometown?

Daytona Beach Bike Week and Me

2011-03-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

When I first landed in Daytona Beach in 1995, I really did not like Bike Week. It was loud, our streets were crowded and the bikers made me a little nervous (especially so many of them at one time - like a gang!). Now I've embraced it. Especially since I realize that "loud noise" is actually the sound of money coming to our area.

I guess you could say I've not only embraced Bike Week, I've become one of them. Check out the photo of me on my new motorcycle with a serious case of helmet hair.

I've even had the opportunity to become an official Bike Week blogger. This job allows me to write every day, meet and talk to a lot of interesting people and increase my social media presence. In fact, I was invited last week by a local hotel to a Blogger/Tweetup media event. While I had fun and got to "meet" a lot of the people I "follow" in person, what was even better was to see a business in the travel industry fully embrace social media and look at us bloggers and tweeters with newfound respect. Turns out we matter. Who'd of thunk it?

I recommended a few of my blogger friends to the organizer in case they are looking to work with other social media experts - so don't be surprised if you get a call or email.

This weekend kicks off 10 days of Bike Week. I actually get paid to go out and enjoy it - something I'd do anyway, for free. Shhh. Don't tell anybody.

Had a Blast at ERAU

2011-02-25T09:13:00.000-08:00

I've been teaching a class at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University. Yesterday I was pleased to be able to watch Space Shuttle Discovery launch from campus. Why? Because two ERAU alumni were on board. The excitement around campus was palpable. Except for one young man I met.

Waiting for my class to start, I struck up a conversation with an engineering major from California. He was about 20 years old.

"Are you going out to see the shuttle launch?" I asked him.

"No I don't like being around crowds" he said.

Hmmm. I was a little confused by this. Then I realized he thought I meant going to the Cape.

"You know you can see the shuttle go up from here, right?"

Not only did he not know the shuttle was going up (in less than 2 hours), he had never seen a launch and yet he didn't seem real interested.

What self respecting ERAU engineering student doesn't want to see the shuttle go up. That's OK, my students and I - and the rest of the school's faculty and students - were excited enough to make up for him. Especially since I let my classroom of students out early to see it. Any excuse to cut class . . .

*Photo credit to The Orlando Sentinel

Remembering Dale Earnhardt

2011-02-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

This Sunday is the Daytona 500 at Daytona International Speedway. I can hear the cars on the track from my house. Which I don't mind cause it's the sound of money coming into our area.

10 years ago, Dale Earnhardt died in a crash on the last lap of the Daytona 500. I was the Senior Manager of Publicity for Daytona International Speedway and ran all the press rooms at that time. Although I'd worked at the Speedway for 4 years, I had not had much interaction with Earnhardt before that year. Getting an audience with him was akin to getting an audience with the King of NASCAR. But that particular year I had spent quite a bit of time with him because the track had named a grandstand after him and he was running in the Rolex 24 at Daytona for the first time that year (that's me with my back to the camera with Dale and a TV crew in the photo above.) I won't say he "knew" me because of this. Basically he just recognized me and because he couldn't remember my name he just called me "girly."

I enjoyed working with him that year because he tried to make me feel comfortable when he knew I was obviously nervous being around him. They didn't call him The Intimidator for nothing. It was a privilege working with him and I can honestly say it was one of the most rewarding (and enjoyable) moments in my career.

Hey, who stole my material?!?

2011-01-06T15:20:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed there hasn't been a whole lotta posting going on here at Florida Native Mom. That's because somebody has been stealing my best material! It's MiniMe. Now that she's a big "middle schooler" she has forbidden me from writing about her on the blog, in my monthly magazine column, etc. I would just ignore her request, but it turns out she knows how to get on the computer and find my blog. And she reads it.

This situation is kind of like having your parents "friend" you on Facebook. Totally sucks the fun out of posting messages.

But I've decided to do it anyway. So if you're MiniMe, stop reading now! And don't forget to brush your teeth!

Turns out the middle school has scheduled a field trip to Epcot for next month. The money for the trip was due today. Now MiniMe mentioned this field trip and its accompanying expense ($103.00) before the holiday break. She was determined to "earn" most of the money herself. I was totally on board with this but wondered how I'd find a job for an 11 year old girl when baby slave labor has been all but wiped out in my part of the state (at least as far as I know).

Her idea - she was going to earn the money babysitting.

Now she's never babysat before. So I suggested I had some friends that might let her come over and spend some time while they were there with the kids to let her try it out. However, my real goal was to get her to do some work around this house to earn her money!

Every day she'd ask me, "Did you call your friend about having me babysit?"

"Um, no I'll do it later. But you know there's plenty of things you can do around here to earn some extra money."

She dismisses this idea and walks away.

Next day, "Did you call your friend yet about the babysitting?"

"Um no but how about if you clean and sort my kitchen cabinets. I'd pay you for that!"

Day after day she asked about babysitting. Day after day I gave her chores to do here for money.

So today when the money was due and she had not earned any, she told me that she didn't really want to go to Epcot. She would just stay at school that day with "alternate" assignments. I wrote out the check, signed all the forms and sent her off to school with a twinkle in my eye . . ..

"You're going to Epcot AND you'll be working that money off in the meantime, and not by playing with other people's babies!"

Just call me the new and improved Baby Slave!

Manatees - Home for the Holidays!

2010-12-17T07:31:00.001-08:00

My Native Florida mentor Mark Lane had a great column today that reminded me of something that gave me the giggles.

He wrote about going to see the manatees in Blue Springs and how Florida is the only place to see such a wintry sight. There are many things about Florida that seem a mystery to newcomers to our state. The manatee is one of those things. And I like to have fun with their ignorance. (Oh, come on, it's not like I'm hurting anyone)

I had a co-worker once who had just moved to Daytona Beach from Tennessee. While he was waiting for his family to move down and join him, he was staying at a hotel on the beach. Each morning he came to work talking about how great it was to start the day with a jog on the beach - beaches being something new to him as a daily part of life.

So one morning he's telling me about his jog and seeing the seagulls and waves and I say . . .

"You haven't seen any manatees on the beach have you?"

What? Um no? Those are like sea cows right?

"Yea, kind of."

I didn't think those things came out of the water? Can they get on the beach?

"Well, you're jogging at about dawn each day, right?"

Um, yea.

"Then you might come across one, so be careful. Manatees come on shore to nest, and they usually go back to the ocean at dawn."

Really? They nest on the beach?

"Yes and they are very territorial, so if you see one, just stay far away from it."

Are they dangerous?

"Well they're pretty big, so I suggest you give the manatee a wide berth."

Hmm, ok. Thanks.

And do you know that he went on believing that manatees lumber onto shore to nest for about a year. Finally I had to tell him the truth when I found out he was teaching this "fact" to his middle-school aged son. It was one thing for me to fool him, but I didn't want his innocent son becoming the brunt of jokes at school. Or failing that science class with a bogus report on manatee nesting season.

Bah Humbug and Your Little Dog Too!

2010-11-29T08:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, I've had it. I'm really over the dirty looks I'm getting from an elderly couple in my neighborhood. Couldn't they stop being so annoying in light of the holiday season?

I have 3 dogs right now that I walk through our neighborhood and the nearby park twice a day. The reason I have 3 dogs is that we foster a dog every now and then. This big brown dog has been with us for about 7 months now and she may just stay with us. She's old. She's gray. She limps due to arthritis. Her hearing is fading. But I took her in because I thought she deserved to spend her last few years of life being cared for instead of neglected. I simply can't understand why anyone would dump their dog at the shelter just because she's old. But it happens.

About 3 months ago I started getting dirty looks from a couple a few blocks away while I was walking my pack. This couple has a little white pomeranian. That they push around in a baby buggy. Really.

Yes, my dogs are kinda big. Maybe they look a little scary to someone who has a fru-fru dust mop for a dog. They like to wander and sniff. If they make a deposit in anyone's yard I pick up after it. They sometimes pee on mailboxes (at the bottom, not like in their actual mailbox). They're not aggressive. They are friendly.

Today I was walking only one dog and he stopped to pee on the aforementioned elderly couple's mailbox base. The old guy comes charging down his driveway all red in the face. I simply say hello and my dog and I keep walking. A few steps away I come across his wife pushing her dog in the stroller. She gives me a dirty look and crosses over to the other side of the street.

Maybe they think 3 dogs is too many. Maybe they are just prejudice against big dogs. Maybe they don't like the way I look. Maybe they don't like that my dog pees on the mailbox bases, on trees, and sniffs around the edge of people's yards, which their dog would do, too, if they ever let it out of that whacked out baby buggy.

I'm going to try to ignore it. But they're starting to piss me off.

Things I've Learned from Thanksgiving

2010-11-23T10:26:00.000-08:00

Since becoming an independent adult and a mom, I've been responsible for cooking several Thanksgiving dinners for my family. This responsibility has taught me many things about myself and about life in general. Here goes:

I am incapable of cooking rolls or bread of any kind. Not that I ever really try to cook bread or biscuits from scratch. I usually get frozen yeast rolls or the Pillsbury canned biscuits. No matter, I burn them every single time without fail. Needless to say, I no longer put bread or rolls on my menu for Thanksgiving (or any other meal frankly).

Sweetened condensed milk and evaporated milk are two different things. Really, I have a strangely sweet and kinda soupy pan of homemade macaroni and cheese to prove this.

Turkeys scare me! The first time I ever cooked a turkey on my own was when I was in college. My workplace gave all their employees frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving. I brought it back to my little apartment and called Mom to ask how to cook a turkey. That's when I learned what that little red plastic thingy is in the Turkey (pop-up thermometer) and that your cook time is based on time per pound. Even with this expert advice, my first turkey-cooking experiment resulted in a turkey so overcooked and dry it separated from the bone and was more like turkey-jerky.

The next time I tried to cook a turkey was a couple of years ago (yes it was almost 20 years before I attempted to cook the big bird again). Since thawing a big frozen turkey seems like a salmonella outbreak waiting to happen in my opinion, I purchased a fresh, free-range turkey from the local butcher. Man do those things cook MUCH faster than previously frozen turkeys! My turkey was cooked and ready hours before anything else.

Don't ask my mom to bring the cranberry sauce. From the earliest Thanksgiving I can remember to modern time, my mother purchased canned cranberry sauce to serve for our holiday meal. And she forgets to serve it nearly every time. Usually we find it in the cabinet the next day when we are eating Thanksgiving leftovers, so it eventually winds up on plate with (leftover) turkey and dressing.

Hope you benefit from my "lessons learned." Feel free to share some of the lessons you've learned at Thanksgiving. It might just save a turkey or a pan of dressing for someone . . .

Opposites Attract

2010-11-15T07:20:00.000-08:00

My husband and I are opposites in many, many ways but somehow we've managed to make our marriage work. This means we've each had to embrace the interests of the other person even if it goes against our nature. Case in point.

1. We give each other time to do the things we like to do.
Beloved got up early Saturday morning to take part in a motorcycle ride with his American Legion post. While he was riding, I was happily shopping at the mall.

2. We come together just as often to do the things one or the other likes to do.
After his ride Saturday, Beloved joined me at the Halifax Humane Society fundraiser. It wasn't all just crazy dog lady stuff though, it was a chili cookoff. So he got to eat chili and drink beer and I got to snap a photo of a weiner dog with a mohawk.

After that I asked Beloved to attend a showing at our area Film Festival this weekend. Foreign films and Beloved are not exactly like peas and carrots. But he agreed to go see The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest with me. Having read all the Steig Larsson books in this trilogy, I knew I had an unfair advantage, but he was trying to be a good sport. Luckily for him, the theater oversold the tickets and I had to get a raincheck for another showing, which I attended with my girlfriend later that evening. Beloved was off the hook and was not too subtle in showing his relief.

Finally on Sunday, I agreed to go to a local establishment (re: Biker Bar) to hear one of Beloved's favorite local bands play. I only go to this particular bar with Beloved because the people watching is priceless. It's the kind of place ugly women and men with no teeth go to dance. Here's a photo of the band, Big Engine, playing while a "fan" from the audience dances in the "cage." And no, that is not me up there.

So to recap: I enjoyed shopping, Beloved enjoyed riding and we joined each other for furry fundraising, foreign films and a biker bar concert.

Life takes compromise.

Zombie Loving Household

2010-11-09T13:47:00.000-08:00

Around Casa Native Mom, we're all zombie fans. So we're luvin' this new series on AMC Sundays at 10 p.m., The Walking Dead. Warning: graphic zombie violence and lots of shuffling, moaning uglies.

Zombie mania was unavoidable when raising two stepsons. Luckily, thanks to her older brothers, MiniMe was introduced to all the zombie action at a very early age, so it was like an inoculation for scary movies. I guess when you grow up with zombies, that's just your "normal."

I remember the good old days when zombie movies were in black and white and the walking dead moved slower than molasses. Now they're likely to spring up into your face at lightening speed in all their techno-color, HD, digital special effects madness making a super gross spectacle of themselves.

Cool!

I Love You More

2010-11-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I asked Favorite Middle Stepson to go to the feed store to get a bag of dog food. With 3 dogs now living in my house, we go through a lot of kibble. I've found the prices best at the feed store.

"Remember to write down the brand and type of dog food so you get the same thing," I asked him. Not that I buy a super special brand or anything, but switching foods makes the dogs sick.

"Right," he says taking out a pencil and paper. "Ultra Premium I-Love-My-Dogs-More-Than-My-Kids Blend. Got it."

Wish Book Memories

2010-11-02T11:03:00.000-07:00

I have officially started my Christmas shopping. Shopping online is great, but what I really long for is the days of the Sears Roebuck Christmas Wish Book. I eagerly awaited the arrival of that 4 pound catalog each year. I'd spend hours pouring over the toy section circling the things I liked and wanted for Christmas.

I did a little research and found out that the first Sears Roebuck general merchandise catalog was distributed in 1894 and the first Christmas Wish Book was published in 1933. The company stopped publishing their general catalog in 1993, but did begin publishing the popular Christmas Wish Book again in 1997.

Some of the items for sale in the first Christmas Wish Book were a Mickey Mouse watch, Lionel electric trains and live signing canaries. The Wish Book of my youth had more than 600 pages with a little over half featuring toys and the rest featuring clothing, tools and gifts for adults.

Of course the Wish Book has morphed for the digital and social media age. You can view the Wish Book online, there is a Wish Book app and if you visit the Sears Facebook page you can post a wish through the end of November to win prizes from Sears.

So while this iconic American Christmas staple is not the same Big Book from my childhood, we haven't lost it altogether.

Wildlife Weekend

2010-11-01T08:18:00.000-07:00

Beloved and I came across some interesting wildlife this weekend. What makes it interesting is that we stumbled across these creatures not by taking a hike but just going about our usual weekend activities.

During a bike ride on Saturday, we crossed over a small bridge and spotted a manatee below us. It was feeding in the shallows and we watched it for about 20 minutes or so. On a motorcycle ride on Sunday I spotted a rather large bald eagle.

Isn't living in Florida great!

It's Biketoberfest

2010-10-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of Biketoberfest here in the greater Daytona Beach area. For the last few months, I've been working as the official Biketoberfest blogger for the Daytona Beach Area Convention and Visitors Bureau. It's been a lot of fun. But this weekend, I'll be out just enjoying myself with Beloved, Charming Cousin and the Luvely Lynne.

I have a little game I play to further amuse myself during bike events here. I count how many times I hear Sweet Home Alabama and Mustang Sally. I usually lose count. I think that every band that plays at a bike event has to include those two songs in their playlist . . . .at least once an hour.

This year, I've come up with a new game in which I'm trying to find license plates from all 50 states. Today I came upon Missouri, New Jersey, New York, Tennessee, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia and Ohio. When I saw the Missouri tags today, I had to ask the folks if they rode here or trailered. Of course they trailered but they said this was their 10th time to visit Daytona for a bike event. Gotta love loyal visitors.

Speaking of meeting interesting folks, I got to talk to my favorite bike event food vendors this week. Usually they are too busy to talk but I caught them early in the week. They sell steak tips from the Iron Horse Saloon. It's a family run operation with the father and his 6 daughters whose names all start with the letter A.

I guess they're the "A Team" (groan!). I asked how many pounds of food they serve this week and here's what they told me: 5,000 lbs of sirloin tip, 600 lbs of potatoes and 250 lbs of mushrooms. Looks like I'm not their only foodie fan.

Oh, and since it is October, a lot of people wear costumes to Biketoberfest.

Here's a few more sights from around town this week. Enjoy!

Winnie the Pooh and Push Up Bras, Too!

2010-09-20T17:58:00.000-07:00

Mom, what's a push up bra?

This is the question MiniMe asked me a few weekends ago as we stood in line for a cold drink at one of our favorite theme parks. As annual passholders, we can jump in and out of Walt Disney World parks on a whim. This particular weekend we were visiting Epcot with my favorite personal Disney Tour Guide and his family.

While it was just MiniMe and I, she took the opportunity to explore the answer to the great push up bra mystery. After I explained the lingerie concept (or torture device concept, you decide), I was then asked to explain all manner of bras . . .underwire, sports bra, etc.

These days, with MiniMe firmly in Tween years, she swings from wanting to be a teenager to wanting to be a little girl with whiplash inducing regularity. One minute she's playing with Barbies, the next minute she's asking for her own Facebook account. Yes to Barbies, no to Facebook.

So I wasn't really surprised by the random undergarment question. But what did surprise me was when a few minutes later she asked me to stand in line with her so she could get her picture taken with Pooh and Tigger. How could I say no?

She gave the cuddly characters a big hug and smiled for the camera.

From Push Up Bras to Winnie the Pooh in under 30 minutes!

Building Character One Box of Cookies at a Time

2010-09-13T18:01:00.000-07:00

For me it was the cute uniform. For MiniMe it was the cookies. As a child I joined the Girl Scouts because I coveted the starched brown jumper with the jaunty matching beanie. I could picture myself in that uniform with bright colored patches scattered across the sash. I joined the Brownies in the third grade, and while my time as a Girl Scout was brief, it made a positive and lasting impression.

My daughter fell in love with the idea of joining the Girl Scouts the first time she encountered a Girl Scout cookie sales booth outside our local Blockbuster Video store. It wasn’t that she wanted the cookies as much as she loved the idea of selling the cookies. A natural born marketing whiz, she was captivated by the idea of having her own retail operation as an elementary school kid.

So I returned to the Girl Scouts, this time as a volunteer Scout leader when MiniMe was in the second grade. She patiently made it through the weekly troop meetings, the arts and crafts projects and the camping trips. Finally, it was time to sell the cookies!

This was the moment she’d been waiting for all year. She happily visited all the neighbors taking orders. She recruited her grandmothers, aunts and dad to her sales force. When pre-orders were tallied, she was a top seller in her troop. But MiniMe was just getting started. She eagerly signed up for several of our troop’s on-site sales booths. The other girls quickly realized they could hang back because MiniMe would happily do all the work. Her secret weapon?

“I just use my cute face, Mom!”

We all know that Girl Scout cookies practically sell themselves. But to be honest, who’s going to turn down a cute little girl in a Scout uniform? The only question - do you want Thin Mints or Peanut Butter Patties?

Needless to say our troop sold a lot of cookies, which gave the girls the resources to have a well-rounded Scout experience.

Whether or not you like cookies or camping, the Scouts are a great organization for your son or daughter. This point was driven home recently when I taught a public speaking class at a local college. The students were assigned to give a short speech of introduction. As each one took their turn, I was surprised by how many of these young men and women mentioned that Scouting had shaped or informed their lives.

So I guess while MiniMe thought she was simply building her sales leads, what she was really building was character, values and a lifetime of memories.

Just another week in Paradise

2010-09-09T07:38:00.000-07:00

Here we go again. Another week in which some of the most bizarre, unfortunate and truly ridiculous national news is generated by goings on in the Sunshine State.

Last week, coverage of Hurricane Earl as it passed by the Florida coastline was overshadowed in the media by the unprecedented number of shark bites recorded along Florida's east coast. Dozens of shark bites were reported from Miami to St. Augustine, which of course sent off a media frenzy that would make a feeding frenzy look mild. Don't know what the big deal was, no one actually got eaten for god's sake.

Then we've got the Florida "Mystery Monkey" whose antics have gone viral and stormed into national media headlines.

Now there's the Gainesville-based "pastor" who's making headlines over a book burning he's promoting. When I first heard about this ego maniacal "man of god" I thought to myself, "Please don't let him live in Florida! Anyplace, but Florida!" As we watched the TV news, Beloved just looked at me and smiled and said "It's your state, honey!"

"No wonder people outside Florida thinks the state is filled with crazy, stupid people and overrun by animals gone wild" I replied. "When the truth is Florida's only half full of people like that. The rest of us are just living peacefully and trying to catch our monkeys."

Ok, So I'm Not a Morning Person

2010-08-31T12:40:00.000-07:00

I'm teaching a few classes at local colleges as an adjunct instructor this semester. One of my classes is scheduled Tuesday and Thursday mornings at 8 a.m. Since I've been working from my home office for 6 years, it's been a long time since I had to get up and get ready for work early in the morning like normal people do. So this morning, I was feeling very proud of myself for getting out the door on time, dressed, make-up and class materials organized and in tow. Or so I thought.

About halfway to the school, I reached to adjust my seat belt and realized . . .I HAD FORGOTTEN TO PUT ON MY BRA!!!!!!

Panic ensued! How could I have forgotten half my underwear?!? So much for "dressing professionally" this morning.

Now I know you think I'm making this up. Believe me, I wish I were. Lucky for me, the dress I was wearing had a built in liner and a crazy, complicated print pattern that I talked myself into believing would "hide" my undergarment faux pas. Since several young male students in my class actually fell asleep this morning, I guess it was hardly noticeable. Still, I'm worried that more than one student left my class this morning thinking "Jeez! How did I end up in the class taught by the skeezy white trash ho bag?"

Mom always said I should lay my clothes out the night before . . . .

Maybe I should be careful what I watch on TV

2010-08-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

I'm a big fan of Law & Order: SVU. Mostly because of that sexy Chris Meloni and the always entertaining Ice-T (remember when he was just a renegade rapper?). I've seen just about every episode. Last night I was watching the show on my TV in the kitchen while I made dinner. MiniMe was chatting with me and watching it too. Which, considering the nature of the show (sex crimes) has led to many delicate discussions over the years.

Ok, here's where all the really good parents out there are horrified, right? How can I let my daughter watch a show about solving sex crimes?!? Well, I'm a slacker mom and I don't believe in sheltering her from the big bad world. Plus, not letting her watch it would mean I couldn't watch it. And, well, um. Anyway, back to my story.

One of the characters on the show last night was a prostitute. MiniMe says "That would have to be the worst job to have. I would never want that job."

What job, I ask. Being a police detective?

"No, being a hooker! That's a terrible job because you have to get in cars with strange people."

(And that's not all I think to myself). So I say, "Yes, well I don't think anyone grows up and aspires to be a hooker. It's not the kind of job most people pursue willingly."

I think it's really cute how she referred to being a prostitute as a 'job.' Like it's in the same league as being a school teacher or an electrician or a nurse or something. Guess I never thought about prostitution as a vocation. I mean it's "doing a job" but not a career. Are you with me on this?

Made me think about all those reality-type shows based on people's jobs. Deadliest Catch. Ice Road Truckers. Animal Cops. Hmmm, maybe it could be featured on that show Dirty Jobs or one of those ridiculous Real Housewives shows.

Biker Blogger

2010-08-24T14:34:00.000-07:00

I got my first paying gig as a blogger this month. For the next 2 months, I'll be blogging for Biketoberfest.org as their local rider expert. The goal is to promote the October Biketoberfest event in Daytona Beach, but also to call attention to the area as the perfect year-round vacation destination for motorcycle enthusiasts.

I'm interested in turning this 2 month blogging contract into more of an annual contract. Our area is uniquely situated to attract motorcycle riders both in state and out-of-state. And most riders spend money when they travel. But for now, I'm just having fun being a "professional blogger."

I've been riding along with my husband for more than 8 years and got my own motorcycle 3 years ago. So I bring a little insight into what riders like and what they look for when they travel. And we do travel on the motorcycle. Last October we traveled to Tennessee on the motorcycle to see the leaves change. 11 hours one way. Boy was my butt tired!

Anyway, check it out if you get a chance.

Middle School Blues

2010-08-23T18:19:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone! It's MiniMe. Can we talk?

My mom (Native Mom) is soooo annoying! She made me do my homework all night BEFORE I could have dessert. And even though my math teacher is really mean, my mom says she "doesn't want to hear anything about the teacher, this is about doing your homework!" I mean, c'mon!

Tonight she dug around in my backpack and got all wigged out because she found some fliers that my teachers had sent home about their classroom and what we're learning and "expectations," blah, blah, blah! And apparently (big sigh!) me and mom were supposed to sign some of these and send them back, like, last Friday? Mom got mad cause I didn't give them to her and send them back in on time. I said "Chill!" but I said it really soft so I don't think Mom heard me.

I heard my Mom telling her friends that middle school is supposed to be a hard adjustment. Must be true, because my Mom is having a really hard time adjusting. All of a sudden, she's all over my case and even took my TV out of my room until "I can prove that I can handle my homework and keep up with my grades." (Big eye roll). Whatever!

Now she wants to start driving me to school instead of letting me ride the bus with my friends so I can get there early and go to "morning math tutoring." I told Mom that it wasn't tutoring in the morning, but a time for kids to come and finish homework. Only losers go to morning tutoring, and besides, that is the ONLY time I get to hang out with all my friends is before school.

I'm not sure I'm going to survive Mom's middle school transition.

Free tickets!

2010-08-20T12:47:00.001-07:00

Don't forget to sign up to win 4 free passes to the Museum of Arts & Sciences in Daytona Beach. Winner will be drawn at random on August 31! Send your request for entry to me at flnativemom@gmail.com.

Follow Friday

2010-08-20T12:39:00.000-07:00

I've become a Twitter geek, and if you're a Tweep as well, you know about Follow Friday, or as us Tweeps call it #FF. This gives Tweeps a chance to give a shout out to other Twitter users they like by suggesting that you follow them. And on, and on, the cycle continues.

So I thought I'd give Follow Friday a try here at my blog. I'm going to recommend blogs that I like on Fridays and encourage all you NativeMom friends to give them a visit. Here goes.

Today the Native Mom blog is following Tootie at Sanibel Toot's Lazy Days, Fresh From Florida, the Disney Food Blog, and A Corgi in Southern California.

Tell 'em Native Mom sent ya, and join me in the Follow Friday Blog movement!

First Day of School

2010-08-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

This was MiniMe on her first day of 1st Grade.

Today she started the first day of Middle School.

Still cute, but now she can make her own breakfast, dress herself and walk to and from the bus stop without me. Oh yeah, she can also roll her eyes at me and tune me out while texting.

Growing up is soooooo much fun!

Annie Jr: A Test for Mom

2010-08-11T06:54:00.000-07:00

I was so proud of MiniMe as she performed in her first "broadway-like" production this summer. The drama camp she attended put on a production of Annie at the end of July. This hour and a half long production with music, singing, dancing, props, costumes, the works, was all put together by the students and their instructors in only 3 weeks. They did a fantastic job!

I faced one of my greatest challenges to date as a mom at the start of drama camp. MiniMe had high hopes of landing a certain part during auditions. When I picked her up the day the parts were announced, I knew it had not gone her way. She was scowling and didn't say hardly one word on the drive home. When I asked if she wanted to talk about it she said "Not right now." The only thing I got out of her was that she didn't get the part she wanted.

When we got home she took off to her room upstairs and closed the door. I waited about 10 minutes then quietly knocked on her door and asked if she wanted to talk. "No, not right now" was the answer again.

What to do? I knew big disappointment was looming and had not a clue on how to help my child deal with it appropriately. I actually Googled "helping your child deal with disappointment" and read everything I could find.

About a half hour later she walked into my office and fell into big heaving sobs in my lap, her little shoulders shaking. She said she got assigned the part of an "extra orphan" and that she'd looked through the script and didn't even see the name of her orphan in the script anywhere. I suspected they had more kids than parts and so had created some roles for kids.

She said that worst of all, they had called all the kids together and announced everyone's parts at the end of the day and she had been embarrassed in front of her friends when they got better parts than her.

Embarrassment. Disappointment. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. All emotions I had to help my little one deal with at the same time. We talked and talked. I listened. Didn't try to tell her what to do, just acknowledged her feelings. As hard as it was, I was proud of the fact that not once did she say she wanted to quit the play. She was hurt but had decided to soldier on.

In the days and weeks that followed I saw so much positive attitude in my child. Every few days she came home and announced that she'd been given another small background role and by the time the play was upon us, she was in nearly every scene and had 3 costume changes. She enjoyed every minute of it and did a fantastic job, even if she didn't have a solo or speaking part.

She had her own cheering section at the performance. Mom, Dad, Grandmas, a great-grandma, and several friends. Her performance was great and I guess my performance as a mom wasn't so bad either.

Glamorous Life

2010-08-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

A few of my regular readers may have noticed I have not been blogging much lately (or maybe you haven't). Anyway, I thought I'd let you all know that what has been keeping me from my regular blog reports is my oh-so-glamorous life. Here's what I've been up to.

Spent last night holding hair while a kid threw up and threw up and threw up.

Just got a job as an adjunct teacher at a local community college - which means I have exactly 2 weeks to get all my class materials ready.

Finally caved and let MiniMe shave her legs for the first time. I had promised "once you're in middle school" and she called me on it since she starts middle school on Monday. Who knew it could take 40 minutes to shave 2 little legs and that I'd have to be there every minute to experience it with her?

Achieved my housekeeping goal for the summer and cleaned out several closets and the kitchen pantry of long-expired canned goods and seasonings. Unopened bottle of salad dressing that expired in 2006? Check! Half empty bottle of children's liquid Motrin in the medicine cabinet that expired in 2004? Check!

Took all my dogs to get current on vaccinations and checked for heartworms. No worms, lucky me!

But mostly, I spent the summer at home reading, cooking, enjoying the pool, etc. Without funds for a lavish summer vacation, what's a glamorous girl to do? But with school back in session next week, I'll be returning to the blogosphere on a more regular basis.

Slip 'N Slide Summer

2010-08-02T10:49:00.000-07:00

We broke out the Slip 'N Slides yesterday. Wham-O introduced the Slip 'N Slide in 1961. My sister and I spent hours on ours in the front yard every summer. Despite the fact that we have a pool, our kids had a blast on this classic summer toy this weekend.

Wham-O has made some of the most simple, but most enjoyable toys of our generation and beyond. The Frisbee. The Hula Hoop. The Hacky Sack.

I highly encourage all you mom and dads out there to introduce your child to the Slip 'N Slide. Let the fun begin!

We don't need no stinkin' summer camp!

2010-07-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of summer camp for MiniMe. It is a theater/drama camp and she has loved every single minute of it. Perfect for my little Drama Queen. Over the years, I've signed MiniMe up for at least a dozen different little summer camps. There was dance camp. Art camp. Photography camp. Art camp again. Dance camp again. Swimming & recreation.

My local paper has run at least one story each week about what kids are doing this summer at camp. Today's story was about a Leadership Camp at the YMCA. Plenty of educational, enriching and fun things for kids to do around here.

Which got me thinking ... how come I didn't get to do a fun summer camp growing up? So I asked Mimi.

"We didn't need summer camps for kids back then. Being home was summer camp."

That's me at "summer camp at home" in 1980. At least MiniMe has actual human friends at summer camp.

Dear Abby

2010-07-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Abby,

I have a problem with a co-worker. I know people write to you often asking for advice about co-workers who don't pull their weight, spend too much time on the internet or share all their personal problems with everyone. My problem is a little more serious.

My co-worker sleeps on the job. Every day. And if that wasn't bad enough, she snores. Which is really distracting to me when I'm actually trying to get my work done.

Please don't advise me to talk to my boss about my co-worker slacking off. That won't help. Because I am the boss.

I know this is not appropriate employee behavior, but I keep her on the payroll because she works for cheap and is very cute.

Help! Signed Pushover.

What Was I Thinking

2010-07-19T14:24:00.000-07:00

I'm creating a new blog post category entitled "What Was I Thinking." There have just been way too many times recently where I found myself mumbling this. My last "What Was I Thinking" post was about scheduling my daughter's birthday pool party at 2 p.m. on a Saturday in June . . .at exactly the time when we get our afternoon thundershowers.

This weekend's "What Was I Thinking" moment was a little more serious. Because the Florida State Parks were having a free entry day on Saturday, Beloved and I decided to head to our local park with the canoe and paddle around a bit. Now I have not been in a canoe in about 2 years, maybe longer. But I thought a couple of hours wouldn't kill me. (Suwanee Refugee, stop reading now! I'm too embarrassed to admit this to a paddler like yourself)

The young park ranger gave us a hand-drawn map of the waterway and pointed out a "3 mile loop" she suggested we try. Three miles, I thought, I could do that. That's about 2 hours of paddling. Sounded perfect.

So off we went armed with towels, lots of sunscreen and a large jug of water. We launched the canoe just before noon. At 3 p.m. I thought I might die without ever making it back to civilization. Hungry, hot, exhausted, sore and more than a little concerned for my physical safety, we finally got back to the boat ramp at 4 p.m.

How did this happen you ask? Approaching the 2 hour point in what was supposed to be our "3-mile" canoe trip we realized there had been a mistake. We kept checking the map and thought we were farther along than we turned out to be. After 2 hours, and without being completely sure of our location, the choice was to turn back or complete our route and hope for the best. I knew turning back meant another 2 hours in the canoe. We pressed on and hoped for the best.

By that point I had begun to sing the Gilligan's Island theme song over and over in my head "A three-hour tour, a three-hour tour . . ." And because I was starving (I had a smoothie for breakfast), I busied myself going over ingredients in recipes I was planning to make this week. Shrimp, onion, orzo, don't forget the lemon, olive oil, vinegar - what kind of vinegar?

I wish I could say it all worked out fine because we got to enjoy the natural flora and fauna of the waterway. Not! The only wildlife we saw were a few birds and a lot of fiddler crabs (which I began to imagine were just waiting to pick the meat from my bones).

It will be a very long time before I agree to go anywhere near a canoe again.

James the Watermellon Man

2010-07-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

No that title is not a typo. It is the unique marketing strategy of James the Watermellon Man. Yesterday while driving through DeLand, I saw this sign on the side of the road. I had to stop and check it out, I mean wouldn't you?

I found a small house with a big shady yard. Lots of cars and children's toys scattered around. Several men sitting in lawn chairs under a tree. I approached the yard and yelled out "How much are the watermelons?"

"You'll have to ask him" came the reply from one of the shade sitters as he pointed toward the house. There was a screened in porch and with the sun in my eyes, I couldn't see anyone inside. Then I heard the voice of James the Watermellon Man.

"Come on up. Try a piece. Ice cold watermelon!"

On the sign near the porch it listed the price of the watermelons as 150 dollars. Oops, I think he meant $1.50.

"How many you want? You can get two for $2.50. I've even got them ice cold" said an older Black gentleman dressed in a bright colored shirt who emerged from the porch. "I'm James. James the Watermellon Man."

I let James know I only wanted one and I didn't need a cold melon as I was traveling all day. James pointed to the pile of watermelons and said I could take my pick. Then he asked "What you taking pictures for?"

Truth is I thought the misspelled signs everywhere were charming, but I didn't want to tell him his spelling lacked something to be desired. So I told him that I had a website and I wanted to let my friends know where to get their watermelons, so that's why I was taking pictures. Which as you can see is the truth.

I picked my melon, gave James $2 and told him to keep the change.

"Let your friends know to stop by and get their watermelon from James!" he shouted as I left. I assured him I would.

You can find James, a great entrepreneur I think, at the corner of South Adelle Avenue and Beresford Avenue in DeLand. I don't know the hours of his operation, but they seem flexible. And yes, it was a great melon!

Tales of a Tree Holder

2010-07-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

My sister and I spent a lot of time holding the tree in our front yard growing up. No, we weren't early adopters of the green movement, we were being punished.

I'm sure it is not unique to Southern parents to come up with unusual ways to dole out punishment to their kids, it just seems that way to me. My dad had one of the weirdest.

My sister and I had to hold the tree in the front yard.

How is this a punishment you might wonder? Well, we usually ended up on tree duty because we were bickering with each other. So to have to stand face to face with a sibling you're mad at and are being punished with is absolutely no fun. Dad had a few rules.

1. No talking to each other.

2. You had to stand up the entire time, no sitting in the tree or sitting down at the base of the tree.

3. Both hands had to be on the tree at all times.

4. We couldn't come back inside until he said so.

There's a humiliation factor involved in this punishment. Many a time our neighborhood friends would ride by on their bicycles and ask "What ya doin?"

"Holding the tree."

"Why?"

"Because we're in trouble. And we're not allowed to talk so you'll have to go away."

Much snickering and taunting would then be directed at my sibling and me.

Once my dad forgot about us and we stood out in the front yard holding the tree until after dark. Now that I'm a parent, I can understand how something like this could happen. Enjoying the peace and quiet in a house where there are no children is not something you want to end.

How did Dad come up with such a strange disciplinary tactic? From what I understand, he had to hold a table leg or the railroad track that ran past his house as punishment growing up. This may or may not be true, but that's what we've been told. Makes today's time out seem pretty lame.

Editor's Disclaimer: The photo in this post is of my niece "holding the tree" in her front yard. No actual babies were harmed or punished.

Cow Appreciation Day

2010-07-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

Today is Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-Fil-A. It took some convincing, but I finally got MiniMe and Favorite Stepdaughter to agree to dress up like cows with me and go to Chick-Fil-A for lunch. Free lunch to people dressed like cows dontcha know!

My dog Radley even got in on the act because Dogs Love Chikin Too! We made a lot of people smile and enjoyed our free lunch (Radley ate my chicken nuggets!)

Drama Camp

2010-07-07T07:18:00.000-07:00

MiniMe goes to Drama Camp next week. Kind of ironic since she could probably teach the class. She's always been a bit of a drama queen. I blame it on my sister who decided it would be a good idea to dress MiniMe up and teach her to do the "runway walk" as soon as the child could walk on her own. Of course with an Aunt who has more shoes than Imelda Marcus and a grandmother who is the owner of a hair salon, what chance did the girl have but to be a drama queen? (Notice how I take no personal responsibility?)

Her dad asked me today for information on the camp since I'm the one who signed her up. When I told him she'd have to wear leotard, tights and jazz shoes, he was quite flummoxed. Not to worry, I said, I'll take care of getting all the dance gear.

"Good because I wouldn't have the slightest idea where to get jazz shoes!" he replied.

Easy, I said, it's the same store that sells Liza Minelli wigs and Neil Diamond t-shirts.

Boiled PNuts

2010-07-06T06:26:00.000-07:00

"MiniMe is coming for the weekend. So you've got to boil some pnuts."

When I walked into Mimi & Pappaw's house on Sunday to drop off MiniMe for her fourth of July sleepover with the grandparents, the scent of boiled pnuts greeted me. With pnuts in season, and since Pappaw loves boiled pnuts, they had made a great big pot full. Pappaw introduced MiniMe to boiled pnuts not long after she could feed herself. I think he wanted to make sure he had another member of the family hooked on the juicy little morsels so that he'd have a partner to help him convince my mom to make them all summer long.

Mimi makes the pnuts. Pappaw and MiniMe eat them. Out of a big green Tupperware bowl.

Don't ask me why, but every time my mom serves up boiled pnuts, she puts them in the same green Tupperware bowl. It goes beyond tradition to some sort of weird OCD-like thing. So MiniMe learned that when the green bowl comes out, boiled pnuts are served.

Mom told me this weekend that when MiniMe was just a few years old, she opened the refrigerator, grabbed the green bowl out and brought it to her.

"MiMi, I want some pnuts" she said holding up the bowl. Which contained a head of lettuce at the time.

When my mom told her there were no pnuts and that the bowl had lettuce in it, MiniMe replied "But I don't eat lettuce!"

And to this day I still can't get her to eat lettuce. But she hoovered down a pound of boiled pnuts this weekend.

Views from the 4th of July

2010-07-02T09:09:00.000-07:00

With the 4th of July this weekend, I've been thinking about all the places I've seen fireworks in my life. I once saw a fireworks display while at the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, but that doesn't really count since it was a New Year's fireworks display and not 4th of July.

I spent many years watching the fireworks from the grounds around the fort in St. Augustine. I highly recommend it.

But my most vivid memory of the fireworks on the 4th was when I was in my early teens. My best friend and I had spent the evening roaming around St. Augustine on our bikes. This was before we could drive and we rode those beach cruisers everywhere. Our intention was to ride downtown and watch the fireworks from the bayfront. It was extremely crowded everywhere along the bay as you might expect. And when the fireworks went off, we found ourselves riding across the Bridge of Lions. People had lined the sidewalks up and down the bridge, so we had to ride in the driving lane. With fireworks going off, people everywhere and cars in front and behind us in the dark, we squealed, our hearts pounding and I was just sure that when my tires hit the grate that makes up the drawbridge at the top that I'd crash and we'd be roadkill. Somehow we managed to get across without injury, but it was one of those stupid teenage decisions (one of many I must admit).

But it's also one of my fondest memories of the 4th of July.

Remember When?

2010-06-23T11:43:00.000-07:00

When you were a child, did your kindergarten class have a graduation? If you have children, you will surely never forget seeing your little one "graduate" for the first time. I'm thinking of you Florida Cracker who just experienced your son's high school graduation.

Easter Seals Volusia Flagler has a charter school serving children of varying abilities pre-k through kindergarten. Here is a slide show of their graduation, it made my day!

Florida's most dangerous jobs

2010-06-23T08:13:00.000-07:00

When you think about dangerous jobs, you automatically think about firemen, police officers, and roofers in the summertime heat. But what about environmental consultants? Sounds fairly harmless, right?

Yesterday an environmental consultant was chomped by an 11 foot alligator in Silver Springs, Ocala. I guess a job monitoring the flow of water in a Florida spring is only dangerous if it happens to be inhabited by a humongous alligator. Luckily, it was just a flesh wound (shout out to Monty Python fans!) and the guy was okay. The alligator was caught and euthanized.

Think ticket sales for the glass bottom boat rides at Silver Springs will be through the roof today?

Anna Maria Here We Come

2010-06-22T14:15:00.000-07:00

Like a hurricane, only much more fun, the girls and I will be blowing into Anna Maria Island this weekend. It will be our biggest group ever with at least 12 ladies from all over the state of Florida coming together to liven up the island. I'm looking forward to some shelling, seafood, and sauvignon blanc with my sassy sistas! (Yes, I love alliteration!)

Beloved asked what we had planned for our trip. I told him that ,unlike men who fill their vacation schedules with things like hiking, motorcycle rides, fishing etc., the most important thing to us ladies was having time to just relax with the girls. We're really very low maintenance.

Top 5 Things to Do on Girls Trip

5. Eat food that's been prepared by someone else and served to you
4. Enjoy a room with a view
3. Happy Hour all day/night long
2. Laugh and talk
1. Repeat items 2 to 5

What Oil? Beaches are Clear!

2010-06-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

While my heart goes out to the beaches along the Gulf that are now seeing oil creep onto their beaches, over here in Daytona Beach we're doing our best to let folks know that they should still come vacation here. Harry Potter's not all that the Sunshine State has to offer this summer.

Take a look at the video from Daytona Beach's Sunsplash Park today.

Fish for Free

2010-06-18T06:47:00.000-07:00

Just in time for Father's Day, the state of Florida is letting people fish without a license this weekend - free fishing! This is just another way that that the state is trying to combat the effects of the oil spill and show the world that Florida is still open for business. Enjoy a free, fresh Florida seafood dinner this weekend and spend some quality time with your dad, granddad, step-dad or the man in your life who's been like a father to you.

Florida Governor Charlie Crist announced that residents and visitors may enjoy a weekend of free fishing in honor of Father’s Day on June 19th and June 20th, 2010. Florida Fish and Wildlife Chairman Rodney Barreto remarked upon Governor Crist’s decision to waive fees and have the free fishing weekend, “Governor Crist’s actions to extend another free fishing weekend will help bring families together to enjoy the outdoors and lend a hand to Florida’s fishing communities, which have been suffering due to mistaken perceptions that fishing is not open because of the BP oil spill.

They just keep growing

2010-06-18T06:42:00.000-07:00

My brother-in-law created a great montage of my niece Lily Kate. Below you see her at newborn, 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months. My how time flies!

Who Knew Trucks Could Talk?

2010-06-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

My truck called me yesterday. It was quite startling. I was out running errands in my Chevy Avalanche (which I love, best truck ever!) and listening to the radio, when all of a sudden the radio went silent. I heard the sound of the phone ringing and that familiar phrase "Now connecting to OnStar."

Seems it was time (past time actually) to renew my OnStar subscription and since I had not responded to their repeated e-mails or the snail mail they sent me, they waited until I was in my truck and called me up. I know I should have taken care of this when they first sent me the e-mail notifying me my subscription was almost up. But hey, I've been busy and slacking at the same time.

It was bizarre and quite unexpected for OnStar to call me. Kind of "stalkerish" actually. The fact that they knew I was driving my truck and called me is a little spooky. But I guess that's what OnStar does, it keeps track of you while you drive in case of an emergency. Which I appreciate .... but still. Creepy!

As always, the OnStar person was extremely polite. Disney-like politeness. And she even helped save me money on my new subscription. Bonus!

I wonder if they know I'm putting on my make-up while I'm driving and that I cheated on my diet last week at the McDonald's drive thru.

You could be the next Duck Master!

2010-06-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

The hospitality and tourism industry in Florida offers a wide variety of career opportunities. I found one I'd never heard of before, but thought it would be fun for the right person.

Duck Master.

That's right, I said Duck Master. The Peabody Hotel and Resort is looking for a Duck Master to manage the 5 mallard ducks that are an attraction in and of themselves at the property. Who wouldn't love to have Duck Master on their business card? The job description is below.

Responsible for handling and maintaining the health, diet, rotation and living quarters for the five mallard ducks and conducting the daily march of The Peabody Ducks before hotel audiences and off-property audiences. Required to take the ducks to schools and give presentations about wildlife, ducks, and the environment.

Transitions

2010-06-08T17:13:00.000-07:00

Today was MiniMe's 5th grade graduation. Despite the fact that she acted as if she was embarrassed to see me, I know she really enjoyed having me there. Here is the photo I got of her at the breakfast awards ceremony before she realized I was there.

This is the photo I got after she saw me.

Eyes rolling, arms crossed. I guess I'll see a lot more of that now that she's heading to middle school.

The 5th graders were dismissed after the breakfast so she spent the afternoon at home with me. And she didn't waste time transitioning into full-on middle-school almost-a-teenager mode.

"Mom can I go to the movies on Friday to see Karate Kid?"

I guess so. Who are you going with?

"Well if I go with my friends, would you want to go or would you be OK with dropping us off?"

That depends, how many friends are you going with?

"Right now just one friend, but I plan to ask a few more friends to go, too."

Who's the one?

You guessed it. The boyfriend. She hadn't been out of elementary school for more than 2 hours before she's asking to go on a movie date with her little boyfriend. But wait, it doesn't stop there.

"So when do you think I'll be able to shave my legs?"

Well, like I've said, when you go to middle school, 6th grade, then if you want to shave your legs you can.

"But I'm going to be in 6th grade in just a few months, and Mom, look at my legs! I really think I need to start shaving."

Just like a single gal, gotta shave before her Friday night date. I figure by the end of the week she'll be asking for the car keys and arguing with me over the time of her curfew.

Keeping it Real: The Oil Spill and Florida Beaches

2010-06-07T14:12:00.000-07:00

What's going on with Florida beaches as a result of the oil spill? If you really want to know, ask someone who lives here in Florida.

That's the idea behind Florida's statewide tourism bureau campaign to save our state's tourism economy.

Visit Florida is encouraging local Floridians and visitors to the state to let the world know that our beaches are open for business. Very few miles of Florida's beaches have been affected by the oil spill, yet hundreds of coastal cities are losing travelers due to the media attention and coverage of the issue.

Visit Florida is approaching this problem in the most up-front, transparent way I've ever seen something like this covered in a campaign. They're asking local Floridians or people here visiting to share their photos of what is happening on our beaches right now.

Ok Florida Bloggers, this is right up your alley. Very few miles of Florida's beaches have been affected by the oil spill, yet hundreds of coastal cities are losing travelers due to the media attention and coverage of the issue. I know my blog friends (yes, that means you) are fantastic photographers. Share those great photos and be a part of a real-time, real life social media effort to show the rest of the world what Florida's beaches are really like this summer.

Come on down! Florida needs you!

Alls Well That Ends Well

2010-06-07T07:32:00.000-07:00

We survived MiniMe's pool party! Actually, it was a great success. Yes it did rain, but that gave us a chance to get the kids out of the pool long enough for ice cream cake and presents. Learned something new this weekend. Our pool can actually hold 17 kids!

Another positive - the parents all arrived on time to pick up their darling boys and girls. Can't beat that. I spent Sunday on the couch reading and watching movies. Momma was whooped!

How could I make such a rookie mistake?

2010-06-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

I think someone should revoke my Florida Native status. I've made a terrible rookie mistake. I scheduled MiniMe's birthday pool party for today beginning at 3 p.m. What was I thinking? Obviously, I wasn't thinking. By 3 p.m. this afternoon thunderstorms will be rolling in and I'll be stuck with 2 dozen 11 and 12 year olds in my house with nothing to do. Shoot me now!!

In my defense, no wait there is no defense for this native stupidity, but to explain my moronic planning skills, I was thinking I needed time on Saturday to get the house cleaned, the dogs walked and fed, the food picked up from the supermarket and the signage placed in the neighborhood leading the way to our house like breadcrumbs.

This day may end up more painful than the 13 hours of labor I went through 11 years ago today.

Alligator CSI

2010-05-31T08:17:00.000-07:00

Florida Wildlife Officers used CSI like methods to arrest a ~~dumbass~~ man for alligator poaching in Ft. Lauderdale. Along with the usual crime-solving methods -eye-witness reports, spent shell casings linking the ~~dumbass~~ man from Pompano Beach, blood in his truck - the Wildlife Officers used DNA to determine the blood found in his truck came from an alligator, in fact the same alligator killed illegally at a nearby boat ramp.

The man told wildlife investigators the blood came from a rabbit he killed on a recent hunting trip. With that much blood, that had to be one big-ass rabbit!

Several eyewitnesses reported they saw Mark Montgomery Jr. (here's hoping Sr isn't as much of an idiot), lure the alligator with marshmallows, then shoot it in the head 7 times with a rifle. One eyewitness asked Montgomery "Is that illegal?" Yea, he replied as he loaded the dead alligator into the bed of his truck. Thankfully, the witnesses called officials and provided his tag number.

Investigators compared the "rabbit blood" with blood taken from the scene. Of course it was a match. This case marks the first time the wildlife commission has utilized DNA for an alligator poaching case. Montgomery was charged with killing the alligator without a permit, without using legal methods, and with the illegal use of marshmallows.

I'm thinking backwoods idiots like Montgomery never really stand a chance of avoiding conviction with the old tried and trued sleuthing practices our state wildlife officials already had at their disposal. But with DNA testing, these morons are outsmarted on a whole new level. Kind of like shooting redneck fish in a barrel (after filling em up on marshmallows).

Cute Corgi - Any Takers?

2010-05-25T07:09:00.000-07:00

Cute 5-year-old Welsh Corgi, Free to Good Home.

Good with other dogs and kids, sometimes. Can walk on a leash, but refuses to on a regular basis. Smells bad even after a bath. Burps a lot. Has allergies and severe skin issues requiring frequent and expensive vet visits and medication. Will only eat meals if bowl is placed on a carpeted area. Will only drink water from a blue bowl or from puddles in the street. Has recently gained weight which places him on the portly side. Jumps on all visitors to your home. Loves to eat high heel shoes, but only one from each pair. Innate herding instinct causes him to try to tackle you from behind as you walk. Can come when called, but usually just ignores you.

Will exchange for an incontinent, blind pit bull. Serious inquiries only.

Summer Reading List

2010-05-24T18:14:00.000-07:00

I've had a few requests for my suggestions for summer reading. After replying to a few with some of my favorite picks, I decided just to post my recommendations here for everyone at the same time.

Category: New Books

Saving Cee Cee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman - a great tale of the strength, loyalty and hilarity of Southern women.
Official Book Club Selection by Kathy Griffin - humor makes a perfect summer read. Love her or hate her, just read this funny book.
Shit My Dad Says by Justin Halpern - first a blog, then a book, soon to be a TV sitcom.

Category: Summer Romance

Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris - the first of the Sookie Stackhouse series is like Twilight for adults (lots of sex in the steamy bayou)
The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd - no woman is an island, and when you're stuck on one with a man of the cloth who just happens to be gorgeous, well stuff happens.
The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman - Florida is the lightning strike capital of the world, so when two people who've been struck by lightning find each other it's a complicated romance that runs hot and cold.

Category: Summer Travel

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt - enjoy the great southern city of Savannah in this twisted case of who-dun-it. An oldie but a goodie!
In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson - can't afford to travel this summer, then go anywhere with Bill Bryson, the funniest travel writer you'll ever read. You'll enjoy all his books but this is my favorite.

Category: Maybe Something More Serious

The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski - now in paperback, believe all the hype. You'll love this story.
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak - a different perspective on the holocaust and death's role. Believe me, they're gonna make a movie out of this one.

I'll gladly take your recommendations for summer reads. For now, I've downloaded Tender Graces by Kathryn Magendie, The Rehearsal by Eleanor Cotton and Men and Dogs by Katie Crouch on my Kindle for the summer months. I'll let you know if I like them.

Mermaid Returns to the Water for the Last Time

2010-05-22T08:20:00.000-07:00

The news today had a lovely article celebrating the life of one of Weeki Wachee's mermaids, Frances Gioe, who died May 15 at the age of 77. Her ashes will be scattered by her family today at Weeki Wachee, returning this remarkable lady to the place where she began a lifelong career as a performer and aquatic dancer.

The year the park opened in 1947,16-year-old Frances Gioe became one of the first Weeki Wachee mermaids. Her talent for aquatic dance led to movie roles in Esther Williams movies and in the TV series Flipper. She performed in Paris for the Moulin Rouge. Retiring in Florida, she created a synchronized swim team for seniors called the Aqua Belles.

Regular Native Mom readers know of my love and devotion to Weeki Wachee. I was thrilled to learn this week that these iconic Florida performers are currently completing a tour of London.

This marks the first time the Weeki Wachee mermaids have appeared outside the United States. These talented ladies are performing this week at the Sea Life London Aquarium. You can see a video of their performance in London here. Notice how the British broadcaster refers to the ladies as Weeki Wacky mermaids.

Whoever thought of sending the mermaids on a world tour is a genius!

Anna Maria Island

2010-05-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

It is official. The annual Girls Weekend is scheduled for the end of June in Anna Maria Island. Us Florida girls decided to support our Gulf Coast beaches and their tourism efforts during this time of uncertainty after the oil spill. And since our group seems to be much bigger in numbers this year, the Gulf Coast tourism officials should really appreciate the amount of disposable income we'll be delivering.

I've never been to Anna Maria Island. So if any of you have tips, information, etc to share I would be most appreciative. I love to travel and experience places as the locals do. That's why this Florida blogging community is so great, there's one or two of you bound to have a few local secrets to share. You've never steered me wrong.

I know our girls trip will result in plenty of blog fodder. This month I celebrate my third year blogging as Florida Native Mom. Thanks to all of my readers and blog friends for three wonderful years!!

Things I can't live without

2010-05-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

An article in USNews details the 10 things people today say the can't live without (ie coffee, TV, high speed internet access). I found this very timely because my work has really slowed down and I've been looking at the budget figuring what I can cut. Here are some things I considered but just have not been able to cut.

Cell phones. We have a big cell phone bill each month because I have an iPhone and my husband, who has a work cell phone, carries a separate cell phone for personal use. Plus MiniMe just got a cell phone for her birthday. Do we really need these cell phones? The answer is no, we have a phone at the house. But I have not been able to cut the cord (I love my iPhone!).

The grocery bill. I buy a lot of organics, which are more expensive. And the kids all have their favorite snacks. While I've managed to shave off about 20% of the bill for the month just by keeping less staples in the pantry, I have a hard time giving up my organic milk and vegis.

Pet supplies. As you all know, I love my dogs. But now that I have 3, I've had to cut back on pet supplies. I've switched to the generic food from the grocery store instead of the specialty food from the pet supermarket, but I'm still buying rawhide chews and their favorite cookies.

I have successfully cut back on the following in the budget (something to be proud of I think):
Eating out. Movies/entertainment.
Shopping (clothing, make-up, accessories, etc)
Gas (not eating out and shopping cut my gas bill)
Weekend travel and vacations.

So, tell me, what can't you live without?

Bird Eviction

2010-05-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I discovered a bird was building a nest in our garage. Since my favorite middle stepson moved in with us a few months ago, he tends to leave the garage door open all day long. The tiny bird was building a nest in the Christmas tree stand stored on top of a cabinet, far out of reach. I decided not to say anything to the rest of the family, knowing that the kids would be too tempted to climb up and disturb it and that Beloved would get rid of it. I just thought that the little bird had worked so hard and I didn't want to bash its little-bird-housing dreams. With so many people losing homes in the last few years, I had foreclosure empathy for the little bird.

I know I should have tried to evict it immediately. But, I thought, what can it hurt? Maybe a little bird poop scattered around. Some peeps and tweeps now and then. I even thought about getting some bird seed to spread out on the driveway.

I blame all these bird harboring thoughts on not getting enough sleep. Let's face it, I already have 3 dogs, 4 kids, a guinea pig, one of the longest living guppies in existence and a husband (listed in no particular order of my love for all of them). Like I really need another mouth to feed around here.

I found the nest material scattered across the driveway this morning. Looks like Beloved discovered my garage squatter. It made me feel bad, but not as bad as I felt at lunchtime today when I saw the little bird (or its identical bird twin) hopping around my window seal. I think it was trying to say "hey, the garage thing didn't work out, so how about that empty bed upstairs your son isn't using while he's in college."

. . . . early bedtime for me tonight, no matter what.

Surf Girls

2010-05-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

Several of my girlfriends have been bitten by the bug. The surfing bug. Only every now and then, the bug bites back. Last year it was Wondertwin who sustained a surfing-related injury that beached her for a little over a month. This weekend it was SandArt who was on the receiving end of a nibble. Four stitches and a knee brace later and she was good to go.

Don't feel sorry for them though. These ladies wear their surf wounds with pride. And they should since paddling those long boards through the challenging surf of Daytona Beach then popping up into a cresting wave driving you toward the beach is not an activity for couch potatoes. So the bumps, scrapes, bruises and stitches are the trade off for buff arms and abs and the chance to spend a day in the ocean alongside the dolphins.

Lest you lady readers out there think surfing would be out of reach for you, there are plenty of opportunities to learn to surf at any age. Surf camps, women-only surf lessons and the like are becoming increasingly more popular and easier to find. If I've scared you off giving surfing a try with the stories of war wounds among my women friends, keep in mind the saying - no pain, no gain!

Boyfriends

2010-05-13T12:13:00.000-07:00

We had a very pleasant surprise visit from my husband's great aunt earlier this week. She and her boyfriend were in town for a mini-vacation. Since we live near the beach, we often and happily have family & friends make us part of their vacation plans.

But since we had short notice, I let MiniMe know when I picked her up from school that day that I needed her help to get everything ready for our dinner guests. She asked who was coming to dinner.

"Beloved's Great Aunt is in town so she's stopping by for a visit with her boyfriend."

How old is his aunt?

"I don't know. A little older than your Mimi I guess."

And she has a boyfriend!?!?!

"Yes, why is that so weird."

If she's that old, how does she have a boyfriend?

"Her husband passed away a few years ago. So this gentleman is her boyfriend."

How old is he?

"I don't know, I haven't met him yet."

Is he 20 or is he older than that?

MiniMe! Of course he's older than that. She's not dating a 20-year-old. Why would you think that.

"Whew! Because boyfriends are guys in their 20s and 30s. I didn't know someone old could be called a boyfriend."

Florida Facts from MiniMe

2010-05-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

MiniMe informed me today that her class is taking a field trip to Silver Springs. I was surprised to hear they were going on a field trip that is so far away from school, but also very pleased that they were visiting one of Florida's first "theme parks."

I said to MiniMe, "you know Silver Springs was one of the very first theme park attractions to open in Florida."

I know, she replies. I've been on the glass bottom boats and we get to go on the boats again for our field trip. And they filmed the movie Creature from the Black Lagoon there.

"That's right," I answered surprised.

They also filmed some of the movie Hoot there. Remember, I read the book.

"I did not know that," I answered.

So proud I am of my little Florida girl for knowing so much about one of our state's treasures. You can learn more about the history of this little gem here.

Recyled Science Project

2010-05-03T10:20:00.000-07:00

I am very proud of MiniMe for the work she (we) did on her science project. Her project demonstrated how different materials can be recycled into writing paper. We spent weeks making paper, charting our progress and observations. And since she's as creative as her mom, the display board was awesome. MiniMe had the only project in the entire 5th grade at her school that addressed recycling - and this during the month of April when we celebrate Earth Day.

We both had high expectations that her project would be among the top 7 in her school to advance to regionals. So when she called to give me the news, we were both very disappointed.

"Mom, they had the judging for the science projects. Mine didn't make it into the top 7."

What?!? But you were the only one with a recycling project.

"I know! Jennifer's project was a winner. So was Carly's"

But your project was better than both of theirs. Must have been that Russian judge.

"What?"

Nevermind.

You know your house is a home if

2010-04-30T07:36:00.000-07:00

My good friend Sarah invited Wondertwin and I to her home for what we lovingly refer to as a "porch sit" yesterday. Sarah spent several years building this home, which actually has a name - CenterPeace. In fact the name is carved into the mantle over the fireplace in her living room.

Now I'm thinking that if your house has an official name, it's not a house it is a home. And what a beautiful home it is. Though not nearly as beautiful as the woman who owns it.

About twice a year our little group of ladies enjoys a porch sit. The view of the Intracoastal river can't be beat. Wine and appetizers. But most of all great conversation and plenty of laughs. Lots of love all around!

MiniMe Debuts Online

2010-04-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

I started a blog detailing my journey along with my daughter through braces. Yep, we're going through braces at the same time. So this week, MiniMe posted her first blog entry on the blog. She was very excited about her first blog post and spent at least a half hour working on it. She sat at the kitchen counter with my laptop last night while I was cooking asking me how to spell words, etc.

Check her out!

Permission Slips

2010-04-27T06:28:00.000-07:00

MiniMe rummaged through her book bag in frustration this morning looking for a permission slip for me to sign to allow her to watch a PG-13 movie at school. When she couldn't find it she started freaking out because she said it had to be signed today or else she would not be able to watch the movie in question - Nim's Island.

No worries. I got out a sheet of paper and drafted my own permission slip.

Dear Mrs. Smith,

Please allow my daughter MiniMe to watch any PG-13 movie on any date at any time at her elementary school.

Signed and dated NativeMom

PS. Let's face it, after watching all those zombie movies with her teenage brothers, there's nothing Jodi Foster or Abigail Breslin could possibly do on Nim's Island that would be any more shocking or disturbing.

Native Tan

2010-04-27T06:23:00.000-07:00

"Where are you from?"

That's the question I was asked by a man sitting next to me at the bar in a local restaurant my friends and I visited recently. I guess when you live in Florida, visitors naturally assume that everyone else they encounter is also there on vacation.

"I live here. I'm local," I answered.

"Oh, you live here? I guess I thought you were visiting since you're so white."

He meant my skin tone not my mannerisms or belief system I assumed.

I was not offended by his observation. After all, I'm a green eyed blonde. Not all Florida natives look like, er, natives.

So I answer, "That's because when you grow up in Florida, you become aware of a little thing we call skin cancer. Most everyone I know that grew up here or has lived here a long time has had something cut or burned off them at some point. The dermatology industry is very healthy here - recession proof in fact."

Then I ask "Where are you from?"

Michigan.

Lies Dads Tell

2010-04-26T09:04:00.000-07:00

Is this you? Yes, I know it is the Coppertone kid, the iconic image that launched a sunscreen empire. But if you were 4 years old and your dad told you that it was a picture of you, would you believe him?

Well, Danger Mom did. Seems my friend was mortified as a child to find out that a picture of her with her lily white derrière showing for all the world to see was plastered over billboards and products across the Sunshine State. Everywhere she went, there was her naked self staring back at her. It was enough to give a kid a complex.

Only it wasn't her. Just one of those funny, harmless little lies dads tell their kids to amuse themselves.

Funny, huh? Funny that even now that she's in her 40s she still cringes at the site of that half-naked Coppertone girl.

Only 1 Week Left

2010-04-23T12:47:00.000-07:00

There's only one week left to enter the Native Mom blog free RV for a weekend give away. With the glorious weather and so many great places to camp in Florida, you'd be crazy not to give this a chance.

Simply send me an e-mail with your e-mail address at flnativemom@gmail.com as contact info and keep your fingers crossed for luck! The winner will be drawn at random on April 30.

Just when you thought it couldn't get worse

2010-04-20T14:03:00.000-07:00

My stepson realized how quickly a good deed can go wrong today. He volunteered to help his older brother move some furniture into his new apartment. Middle stepson has a big truck and oldest stepson has a Buick.

In the process of transporting a couch, my stepson's truck broke down. He was stuck on the side of a small, two-lane country back road so of course he called his dad. Then his dad called me.

Off we went to meet up with the boy, AAA card and cell phone in hand. Pappaw on the other end of the phone line helping us diagnose the problem with the big red Dodge as we traveled the hour drive to where stepson was waiting.

But having his truck break down on him unexpectedly was the least of his problems. Seems that his bigger problem was the stupidity that comes with being 19 years old and bored.

He and his brother's friend decided to cure their boredom while waiting for help to arrive by taking their air soft pistols out of the truck's tool box and conducting a little target practice in the ditch nearby.

Enter a soccer mom in a mini-van. She comes across a beat up old truck pulled over on the side of the road with two big tall boys shooting guns next to it. How fast can you dial 911?

Two local police cars and a Sheriff's deputy arrive within minutes. My son realizes immediately why they are being rushed by the law, drops his air soft gun and places his hands behind his head in one swift motion. His buddy is a little slower on the draw. The officers step out of their vehicles with shouts of "drop your weapon, drop your weapon now!" with Tasers primed and ready.

The boys were handcuffed face down in the dirt while the officers determined whether or not they were budding homegrown terrorists. Nope, just bored stupid kids.

My son says the officers "chewed them up one side and down the other" but also readily admitted they deserved it.

Officer: What the hell are you doing?

My son: Being Stupid Sir.

Officer: You're damn right you're stupid!

My stepson seemed unfazed by the entire experience by the time we got there. In fact, he told us he knew right away why the cops were there when he saw the first patrol car pull up because, and I quote, "some kid at my church got in trouble for the exact same thing."

Maybe I need to introduce him to the idea of "learning from others' mistakes."

Sonic Boom on my Butt

2010-04-20T13:46:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone across the Sunshine State enjoyed the sonic boom that signaled the return of the Space Shuttle to our atmosphere this morning (photo courtesy of NASA). I happened to be out walking my two dogs when the Space Shuttle Discovery returned to earth in its usual trajectory over Florida. When the heart-thumping, window rattling, ear splittng KABOOM sounded, my dogs took off like they'd been shot, knocking me on my butt in the process. There I sat in the wet grass, dirt up to my elbows with my dogs retreating rear ends obstructing my view.

I bet this kind of thing doesn't happen to people walking their dogs in Michigan.

Save the Jellies!

2010-04-19T06:56:00.000-07:00

Spent a cloudy, overcast Sunday at the beach with MiniMe and Sunshine Girl. It wasn't too hot, it wasn't too cold, but I really need to have some sunshine on my shoulders to enjoy the beach. Not a requirement for merriment to ensue for the little girls with me.

After digging in the sand, collecting shells and catching sand fleas the girls decided to use their energies for a good cause. Saving jellyfish.

I watched as they took their shovels and bucket and carefully attempted to scoop up a jellyfish that had washed up on the beach. There was much squealing and flailing about as part these maneuvers. I wondered what they might do with the jellyfish once they got it into the bucket, hoping that their plan was not to come stick it in my face. But no, I was safe, because their plan was to "save" the jellyfish by releasing it back into the ocean.

Once the jellyfish was in the bucket, they waded into the surf. At this point it finally occurred to them that if they washed the jellyfish into water where they were standing, they might end up with jellyfish wrapped around them. So now they're knee deep in water with a (dead) jellyfish in a bucket and arguing (and squealing still) about the best way to "catch and release." Finally the braver of the two (Sunshine Girl) slowly dips the bucket into the water and MiniMe takes off running back to shore. With the jellyfish now "rescued" the girls excitedly run up to share their good deed with me.

"We rescued a jellyfish! Did you see us! It would have died on the shore but we put it back in the ocean! C'mon, let's go rescue another one!"

I didn't have the heart to tell them the jellyfish were already dead if they were washed up on shore. And I noticed later that they were probably "rescuing" the same dead jellyfish over and over again. But I was very pleased with their collective efforts to "do good."

Enjoy Earth Day this week (April 22) and do something small or large to help save the earth (or a few dead jellyfish if you prefer).

What is this?

2010-04-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

I saw this last week in the Matanzas Inlet in St. Augustine. It says Earth Ball on the side of it. I guess it is supposed to be someone's environmentally friendly boathouse? It was so bizarre I pulled over to the side of the road to take a photo. I know that all you Native Mom fans would enjoy seeing it. I'd be happy to take your guesses on what else it might be. There are no wrong answers and don't expect a definitive answer from me cause I have no idea!

UPDATE 4/19: Thanks to Mimi, my most loyal Native Mom reader, we have an answer to the Earth Ball mystery. The St. Augustine Record recently did an article on the soccer shaped boat and its unusual 69-year-old owner. Click here for more details.

Produce Guide

2010-04-15T09:26:00.000-07:00

Florida Agriculture recently posted a Produce Guide for Florida on its Facebook page. Who knew Florida produce had its own Facebook page? So how lame are you if you're not on Facebook yet when even vegetables and fruits are Facebooking?

Anyway, check out the produce guide here

I'm coming up on my third anniversary of vegetarianism. It's been a journey and I've learned a lot. If you know of any produce related special events in your area, I'd love to hear about them and post them on the blog. For instance, Plant City has the Florida Strawberry Festival (too late for anyone wanting to attend, it was back in March). Zellwood has its Sweet Corn Festival in May.

If you ask me, Floridians are a little obsessed with food-related festivals and special events. You can't throw a rock from anyplace in Florida without it landing in a seafood festival. Send me the dates of your local festivals. I just may eat my way across the state this year (burp!).

Caught in the act

2010-04-12T07:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever caught the driver in the car next to you on the road singing passionately? Funny isn't it. Well a similar thing happened to me this morning only I was the one being laughed at - caught in the act.

I was listening to Book Radio on satellite radio (does that make me a geek or well-read?). This station is kinda like books on tape. This morning it was Bill Bryson's novel, "A Walk in the Woods." Luvs me some Bill Bryson! He's got to be the funniest travel writer ever.

I was cracking up hard enough to bring tears to my eyes listening to this book when I glanced over at the car next to me at the stoplight. The guy was snickering. I have to admit, if I saw someone driving alone in their car laughing this hard, I'd find it amusing and I'd probably think the driver was crazy.

This says it all

2010-04-07T08:45:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of our cruisin' kids. MiniMe is the one in the middle. The oldest "kid" of the bunch was the teenager you see completely sacked out on the beach towel in the background. Notice his size 11 feet completely splayed out in different directions. After a day with this perky, silly, energetic group of kids, I felt just like him!

Vacation, vacation everywhere!

2010-04-06T06:38:00.000-07:00

My first day back from a week-long vacation, I had a meeting at the Daytona Beach Resort and Conference Center. You know how you feel the first day back at work after a vacation - like you wish you were still on vacation? Well I was feeling that way and that feeling got even stronger while I was sitting at the resort watching all the families wondering in and out of the pool deck, drinks in hand, kids in tow with the smell of suntan lotion.

While I love, love, love living in the Sunshine State, it can sometimes be difficult to be surrounded constantly by people on vacation. When I was a kid growing up in St. Augustine, this fact of life was actually a lot of fun.

Growing up in vacationland as a kid, I learned to have a good time with the tourists. My best friend and I would often take advantage of their cluelessness (why do we leave our brain at home on vacation?). From giving tourists the wrong directions, to telling them tales of manatees nesting on the shores of our beaches, we had a great time being real smart-aleks. But the best trick we ever played on these poor visitors was after a hard rain in the historic district. Downtown St. Augustine tends to flood along the bayfront area during rainstorms. This particular storm had left the parking lot of the fort under water by a few inches. After the rain stopped, my friend and I decided to "wade" across the fort parking lot. Only we got down on our knees and trudged through the water. Car after car would pull up to the entrance to the fort parking lot, see us up to our thighs in water and turn away less they get swamped. We took great delight with every car we scared away.

I'm sure the convention and visitor's bureau really appreciated that.

Ta-Da, a winner and a new give-away!

2010-04-05T17:52:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Kim P for winning the very first Florida Native Mom blog giveaway - a free weekend at Perry's Ocean Edge resort in Daytona Beach. I'm moving right along to my next give-away which is a free RV rental for the weekend. If you've ever wanted to give camping in an RV a try, now is your chance. The great folks at Ocean Grove RV in St. Augustine - where I bought our family RV - are providing this great prize to the readers of the Native Mom blog.

We've camped all over the Sunshine State. Beloved loves the rustic campgrounds and I'm ok with any campground that is clean, well maintained and has lots of things for the kids to do. Beautiful surroundings are a plus, but you'll find that at just about any campground in Florida. A few of my favorites include: Wekiva Springs, Anastasia State Park, Hillsborough River State Park, Ocean Grove RV resort in St. Augustine and Fort Wilderness at Walt Disney World.

We've camped year-round and have learned over the years how to pack and plan for all kinds of weather. I've also become a great campground cook.

So enter to win the RV get-a-way and think about giving camping in Florida a try!

Update: To enter the RV give-away, see the sidebar to the right with instructions under the Ocean Grove RV logo. Send an e-mail with your name and e-mail address to flnativemom@gmail.com to enter to win.

Come Sail Away!

2010-04-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

Just returned from a week long spring break cruise. Unlike many of the college spring breakers, our cruise involved 9 adults and 8 kids, 5 families traveling together on a Carnival cruise. The kids enjoyed having free ice cream all day long and riding the glass elevators up and down 9 stories in the main atrium of the cruise ship. Luckily there was a piano bar in the atrium so while our kids entertained themselves playing "tag" in the glass elevators, the adults could sit, sip and enjoy the music.

We've done this spring break family cruise for 4 years now. And we finally decided this year that in the future, we don't necessarily need to travel on a cruise ship. We simply have to find a place that offers free ice cream all day long and has some glass elevators for the kids to play in. And if this resort had a few dancing waiters, bonus!

A microcosm of society

2010-03-22T18:32:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate enough to spend an hour of my day in the customer waiting area of the my local Chevrolet dealership's service department. My was it entertaining!

First there was this guy who had very strong opinions and knew absolutely everything about the health care bill that just passed. Lucky me to be in the presence of such an educated guy. And the fact that he was so willing to share all his knowledge and opinions with us (the captive audience) was just so generous of him. Only problem was, about half the waiting room was full of WWII veterans who had trouble hearing anything at all - much less the "health care bill expert's" loud and seemingly never ending monologues. Which made for some interesting conversations for me, the casual observer. It went something like this . . .

HEALTH CARE BILL EXPERT (HCBE): This country is going to hell in a handbasket. If you think this won't affect you personally, you're wrong. We're all gonna pay!

WWII Vet #1: It won't affect me or my insurance.

HCBE: Of course it will! If you think it won't then you just don't understand the bill. I mean, I doubt if Obama ever even read the bill - it was like 8,000 pages - and I bet he never even read it!

(me thinking to myself . . .and you did?)

WWII Vet#1: I'm a retired veteran on TriCare. The military takes care of my health care. It won't affect me.

HCBE: Oh sure, not you, but what about all the active military? They're screwed!

WWII Vet#2: I earned my health care as part of my pension, 35 years working for the teamsters, and as a veteran.

HCBE: You're both veterans? Obama thinks we should have to apologize to the Japanese for dropping the bomb. This country is going down the tubes!

WWII Vet#2: YOU THINK WE SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR DROPPING THE BOMB ON HIROSHIMA?!?!? WELL, I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING . . .

WWII Vet#2 Wife: Honey, he said Obama apologized, not that he thought we should apologize.

About this point, I had the urge to stand up and announce to all these guys in the waiting room that I was a military veteran myself, and I also happened to be a lesbian with breast cancer and no insurance! So bring on the health care bill and get rid of Don't Ask Don't Tell!!!!

But I didn't.

One day you're hot, next day you're not

2010-03-21T11:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, sunshine returned to the Sunshine State and the temperature here got to 80 degrees. Today, rainy and cool. Spring is being quite fickle this year.

But on to another topic since blogging about the weather is boring. (you know it's true)

MiniMe says today "This week is going to be the longest week of my life."

I understand completely, because the end of this week we leave for our spring break cruise. Kinda like waiting for Christmas for all of us. In preparation, my sassy little daughter and I had mani-pedis yesterday. (for all my male readers, that means we got our nails done and had pedicures) MiniMe wanted yellow nail polish. Thank god the salon was all out of yellow. Must be a popular color! So she had to settle for green.

Is Florida the cruise capital of the U.S.? I'm not sure but we have several ports within a short driving distance of anywhere in the state. In the news today, there was a report that the U.S. cruise industry is posting strong gains. Apparently in bad economic times, cruising is a popular choice for the small part of the American population who can still afford a vacation. So what is the cruise industry doing in response to their strong sales - you guessed it, they're raising prices. Good thing we booked our cruise so long ago we still got a cheap rate.

Which leads me to a question for all of you. Cruising. Have you ever done it? Love it or hate it?

I get by with a little help from my friends

2010-03-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

I've had a rough couple of weeks. A don't sleep, don't eat, be cranky kinda week. But don't worry, this won't be a bitter blog. Instead, I'm gonna share a kindness shown me today by a co-worker, friend and a brand new addition to the blogosphere - ShakeNTakeMom.

This lady is the best. Not only is she the most creative individual, she runs her own business with integrity and a positive attitude. All while raising two very busy little boys (are there any other kind?). Today she stopped what she was doing to help me out with my work. And it made a big difference in my day.

This is a real change for me. I'm usually a "glass half empty" kinda chick. No, let's be honest, I'm usually a "how come everyone else got a full glass and I got a broken beer mug?" kinda chick. But ShakeNTakeMom's support, along with all the other kind and thoughtful things my family and friends have done for me the last few weeks, has given me a more positive outlook. And I'm spreading it around .. .

Have I told all you NativeMom readers how great you are? Well you rock! And you're a good lookin' bunch, too!